I wish I could take the hands of time and turn them in reverse
I'd take back every long goodbye with venom in my words
At the core of her, Adna is a naive, inexperienced thing.
She has felt loss, and she has known pain, but when it comes to matters of the heart, she has felt very little. She has shared her bed with only one other man and it was one of her childhood best friends. It was a boy who had known her and seen her cry. It was a boy she knew could never be hers.
This is so different and she feels drunk on it—out of her depth, underwater.
Each touch from him sends her spinning. He is a whiskey on her tongue and she is so foolish—so silly—to think that she could handle it. She is so foolish to think that she could match him. Because regardless of what he says, he is not plain—not ordinary. He is entire constellations and forest fires and she wishes that she could be eloquent enough to tell him all of the ways that she finds him beautiful.
But her mind is a fog of need now and she can only shiver when he touches her, can only reach out blindly to touch him. When he circles her, she leans back into him and then accepts him. His weight is like something holy on her back and she feels his mouth against her neck and the wild tangles of mane.
I won’t, he says, and she finds something like relief there, but the relief is so quickly washed away by the tension that grows in her belly. The fear of losing him slips away for now—I won’t, he said—but it is replaced by a growing need. She grows lightheaded and dizzy; she feels like she might come apart.
“Beth,” is the only thing that she can remember—the only word that comes to her lips. So she just says it like a prayer. She repeats it, softly at first and then more assuredly. She learns the syllables of it so that they become the only thing that she can cling to, the only language she knows being the feel of his hips.
There is a shudder, a violent tremor, and then stillness.
“Beth,” a question and answer in one.
the only way to being found is getting lost at first
but all I find are more bridges to burn
