[mature] things we never thought we could be, adna

[bethlehem]

sometimes i wonder, will god ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? B E T H L E H E M then i look around and realize, god left this place a long time ago How fiercely he wants to recoil. How viciously he aches to skirt just out of the reach of the heat of her mouth. He does not deserve to be touched by her. Worthless bastard that he is. Useless, ordinary, plain. Not fit for the adoration of a woman born from royalty, certainly. But she kisses him and he is rendered powerless. He cannot force his limbs to comply with his mind’s demands, he cannot force them to carry him away from her. He cannot breathe around the anger and the want and the heat that coils wickedly at the center of him. Every inch of him is doused in flame and he wants to extinguish it just as much as he wants to stoke it. He wants her to watch him burn and he wants to take her with him. For the moment, they do not belong to the world at large. They do not belong to the earth or the moon or the stars. They belong only to each other. His chest heaves and he swallows thickly, scrambling for purchase where there is none. There is nothing to hold onto. He cannot catch his footing. He cannot rear back his head or cast himself out of her orbit. He is powerless to do anything but continue to drag his mouth along the peaks and valleys of her body. Her request is nearly lost to the tremors of his skin. Don’t disappear, she whispers. He has never been in the business of making promises that he knows he cannot keep. But there is a heart stirring in the cavern of his chest for the first time in so many years and his head is swimming as he moves behind her, into her, as he mutters into the tangles of her mane, “I won’t.” And he sighs, says it again. “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t,” like a mantra.