[mature] things we never thought we could be, adna

[adna]

ADNA

I wish I could take the hands of time and turn them in reverse
I'd take back every long goodbye with venom in my words

“How do you do it?”

The words are out of her before she can stop them—before she could possibly ever put a stop to them. They are on her tongue and hanging in the air and she is left in the aftermath, feeling nothing but the way that the air stings and her lungs hurt as she tries to keep breathing. She wishes she could take him apart so that she could study him. She wishes that she could map out his veins and find an answer in them.

She knows that she will need to explain the question soon but she struggles to give breath to it. She knows that he won’t understand the question and she isn’t sure that she does either. She just knows that she feels nothing but it takes shape in her lungs, inflating until her throat feels swollen and her tongue warped.

Finally, she lifts her sage green eyes, her thin chest still heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

“How do you not look?”

She swallows hard, her delicate face framed by the curls of her forelock, the mane that sticks to her scaled neck. “I just…” she breaks off but doesn’t tear her aways from him. There’s something to be learned in this moment, she thinks, but she doesn’t know what it is. She doesn’t know what to say anymore.

“I need to stop looking,” she confesses and it’s almost a relief to say it.

“I keep looking and I keep being disappointed. I need to stop looking. I need that to be okay.”

the only way to be being found is getting lost at first
but all I find are more bridges to burn