i never said that i would be your lover
i never said that i would be your friend
i never said that i would take no other
She has been dancing around him, trying to gauge what he feels about Starsin, how meaningful their connection is. Who has more right to her. That uncharacteristic mistake of possessiveness turns on her like a rabid wolf.
Too, Kensa does not just resent that they have shared a lover. It is knowing what it is to be intoxicated by Starsin, though they have only known each other a short time. He has been her ‘friend’ for years and in the next moments as his demon child shatters her neat glass facade, she wonders how far her husband has fallen to Starsin. As if she has any right to wonder.
Luckily thoughts of Brigade do not sneak into her mind, not when she is so focused on teasing out just how close Litotes and Starsin are.
She shouldn’t care, and it is a cruel slap in the face to be reminded of it. The boy’s outburst leaves her in a stunned silence though she almost summons her daughter back, protective, embarrassed and furious with Litotes’ red eyed son. She should have expected at least one if not both of the children would share their mother’s gift and have their father’s capacity for biting words. The discomfort of jealousy, the heaviness in her chest is joined by a sickening visceral plummet…
But Kensa, rises to meet Litotes' glare with one of her own. Her body shifts, tightening, chin tucking protectively against her throat. “You don’t understand me. Why? Because I fucked Starsin? Is that what you wanted me to say in front of a trio of children?” She snaps, unprepared, unrehearsed because he was never supposed to know. Starsin had asked they not tell. “She didn’t want you to know.” She says softly, too softly almost, lost and wistful and realizing all too rapidly that she is not holding all the cards.
She is ready to fend him off, to defend herself against stallion or worse yet jealous lion. The scars from before don’t sing with the memory of their creation, but they should. Kensa should put more space in between the two of them but she is distracted by the realization of just what the secrecy meant.
“Litotes. Why did she care if you knew?” Because she has spent no more than a few hours with Starsin and yet sees that they are rippled reflections of one another, proud and beautiful and unafraid of conquest. Starsin could hide what she wanted from Ophanim but it shouldn’t have mattered if Lie knew...unless Starsin herself didn’t want him to. Kensa backs up a step, her gold trimmed ears dropping back against her blond waves. ”Why didn’t she want you to know, Lie?” It matters more than she wants it to, all her jealousy withering back as she recognizes that her claim on the gray mare is little more than an infatuation. Blind.
@[litotes]
