It’s so quiet this high up, so peaceful that I can’t help but let it sink into my bones. Even if only for a little while. Silence so profound it makes me understand Hallows’ penchant for meditation, it seeps into my soul and soothes the scars Gendry couldn’t erase. The relief never lasts, but it helps. A little. And even a little is more than I—no. Not more than I deserve. I can say that much now, at least. And it only took a decade, too. I didn’t act with malice. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone. I was naïve, a little girl playing grown up and making choices without the wisdom to back them up. So no. I don’t deserve to hurt. I didn’t deserve to be attacked. No matter what I believed at the time.
The whole world is quiet, the silence unbroken even as a stray crow wings high overhead. I’ve always liked crows. Clever, sassy little things with endless dark eyes and an affinity for shiny things, what’s not to like? Seeing this one sends a smile spreading across my face, and I close my eyes, breathing in the cool, clean air.
When I open my eyes again, the crow has already begun to shift. Startled, my head jerks up of its own accord, nostrils flaring wide to catch the scent of the stranger, ears flicking nervously. But the shifter takes his time, giving me a chance to adjust, and before he has finished settling into horse shape I recognize him. The racing of my heart starts to ease as he comes in for a landing on dragon wings, and I give my brother my best welcoming smile. Which, admittedly, is a little shaky. Especially since I can’t quite manage to drag my eyes off the ground long enough to meet his.
That is, until he says my name. I'd forgotten, it's been so long. He's the only one who ever uses my full name, the name our mothers gave me despite my declaration that I was Dare and no one else. It never really fit me before, never really felt like mine. But...but I do not feel daring anymore. It's kind of nice, to hear the nickname softened by the extra syllables until it doesn't mean a little girl who as good as died years ago. "Hello, Ni--" I meet his eyes then, searching their familiar golden depths. We have never called him Tarnished. None of the children of the Sun have ever used his full name. It was cruel of Momma Luna to place such a heavy burden on him, naming him for her pain and suffering, using her newborn son as a weapon. But. But none of us have ever asked him what he wants. And I think if any of our siblings were to ask me now, I would prefer Daeryssa. "What...what do you prefer to be called these days, brother-mine?"
I hate the distance between us, but I don't quite know how to close it. When he was very small, I used to groom him sometimes, give his withers a good scratch. I was good at finding all the itchy places once upon a time, and it was the kind of thing that helped build the love between family. Older siblings did the same to me, complete with cuddles and playful nudges and the spiking of forelocks all of us seemed to love. But it's been so long, and those were baby games, and now? Maybe if I were a little less out of practice, I could put on a smile, step closer, hug him even. Instead I shrug a little awkwardly, the smile on my face a little nervous despite my best efforts.
"It's quiet up here. Safe. Peaceful, you know? I, um...don't get a lot of that around other people. And I like exploring. I'm not exactly great at crowds, but I know the land. And..." And the monsters are easier to recognize out here. I can still see her eyes, cold and glittering in the afternoon sunlight as she tore into me. Still feel the agony of tearing flesh and breaking bones, and the apathetic acceptance that yes, I deserve this fate. I shudder, pushing away the memory. "What about you? What are you doing way out here?"
The whole world is quiet, the silence unbroken even as a stray crow wings high overhead. I’ve always liked crows. Clever, sassy little things with endless dark eyes and an affinity for shiny things, what’s not to like? Seeing this one sends a smile spreading across my face, and I close my eyes, breathing in the cool, clean air.
When I open my eyes again, the crow has already begun to shift. Startled, my head jerks up of its own accord, nostrils flaring wide to catch the scent of the stranger, ears flicking nervously. But the shifter takes his time, giving me a chance to adjust, and before he has finished settling into horse shape I recognize him. The racing of my heart starts to ease as he comes in for a landing on dragon wings, and I give my brother my best welcoming smile. Which, admittedly, is a little shaky. Especially since I can’t quite manage to drag my eyes off the ground long enough to meet his.
That is, until he says my name. I'd forgotten, it's been so long. He's the only one who ever uses my full name, the name our mothers gave me despite my declaration that I was Dare and no one else. It never really fit me before, never really felt like mine. But...but I do not feel daring anymore. It's kind of nice, to hear the nickname softened by the extra syllables until it doesn't mean a little girl who as good as died years ago. "Hello, Ni--" I meet his eyes then, searching their familiar golden depths. We have never called him Tarnished. None of the children of the Sun have ever used his full name. It was cruel of Momma Luna to place such a heavy burden on him, naming him for her pain and suffering, using her newborn son as a weapon. But. But none of us have ever asked him what he wants. And I think if any of our siblings were to ask me now, I would prefer Daeryssa. "What...what do you prefer to be called these days, brother-mine?"
I hate the distance between us, but I don't quite know how to close it. When he was very small, I used to groom him sometimes, give his withers a good scratch. I was good at finding all the itchy places once upon a time, and it was the kind of thing that helped build the love between family. Older siblings did the same to me, complete with cuddles and playful nudges and the spiking of forelocks all of us seemed to love. But it's been so long, and those were baby games, and now? Maybe if I were a little less out of practice, I could put on a smile, step closer, hug him even. Instead I shrug a little awkwardly, the smile on my face a little nervous despite my best efforts.
"It's quiet up here. Safe. Peaceful, you know? I, um...don't get a lot of that around other people. And I like exploring. I'm not exactly great at crowds, but I know the land. And..." And the monsters are easier to recognize out here. I can still see her eyes, cold and glittering in the afternoon sunlight as she tore into me. Still feel the agony of tearing flesh and breaking bones, and the apathetic acceptance that yes, I deserve this fate. I shudder, pushing away the memory. "What about you? What are you doing way out here?"
Daeryssa
of the restless heart
