how come I never got used to the feeling of sleeping in a cage?
too long driving, too damn hungry; a tied-up hound but nothing stays
Why Sinner, Litotes had asked. It was a fair question, she supposes, but it still smacked her across the face. Why not, she questioned herself. Years have melted together since first meeting the hellhound. Perhaps they are terrible together. It will never be a happily ever after, but Valdis finds herself always wanting him. She is a moth to his flame.
It’s tempting to shrink away from him when she draws in Mary’s familiar scent, knowing well that they remain close. Yet Valdis doesn’t want to appear weak or emotional. She hesitates to crumble at the will of her lustful desires.
So, she remains aloof even has her heart hammers against its cage. Even as her entire being wants to fold into him, as is habit, Valdis refrains. They are back to their beginnings when she always slipped away from the warmth of his lips and the comfort of his body. Again, she is an elusive temptress.
Sinner tries to reassure her, telling her that Erio is just a boy. She agrees quietly, saying nothing for a few heartbeats. ”Perhaps,” she lies to herself again, already convinced their son would be better discarded and lost, maybe even destroyed. He was meant to be formidable as the first son of hellfire, the combined legacy of dragon and hellhound. Every expectation and hope Valdis had for him was crushed the second her eyes rested on his petite body. No, he is nothing like her treasured Dracarys. He is a stain, a mistake. She wants to say this to Sinner, but words suddenly fail her.
As much as she wants to stay aloof, to act unfazed, the inner battle weakens her and chisels away at the wall she has built. ”I’m sure you and Mary will find somewhere else to rebuild,” she didn’t want to say the woman’s name. Every time she does, it gives Mary more power and more recognition than she deserves, but Valdis’ emotions are coming in waves. The words drown in distaste, no longer able to conceal it. ”You two are great together,” she doesn’t elaborate how – lovers, parents, rulers – but her voice is nonetheless hinted with a bitter taste before she swallows it back down with her remaining energy before glancing back over her shoulder.
”Erio can come out to meet you, if you want.” Truthfully, Valdis debated having the hellhound play a role in their son’s life – she is so vengeful, so cruel, sometimes – but her better judgment took handle of the situation in the end.
Valdis
@[Sinner]