He avoided the area he'd found Leliana as he made his way deeper into the forest. He didn't want to think about it, relive it.
It made sense, though.
That she had found love. Of course she would.
Even a stupid one that needed training.
But he wasn't going to think about it. Today was for someone else, a beautiful dark face in his mind. He remembered loving the feel of her dark hair, her brown eyes gone all soft and full of wonder as he claimed her gently, tenderly. So unlike how it'd always had been, so unlike the hard bites and tearing skin, the pain.
He hadn't realized what a mistake it would be to do it that way, to change things completely. Because it had changed everything. It had changed all three of them so drastically, ruined the relationship and the precarious balance they'd kept so effortlessly then.
Yeah, he remembered.
And he'd stayed away anyway. After promising she was his. She was though. It just seemed it would always be an empty promise now, on her end. With Cerva gone. Or perhaps he'd never really been capable of really being there for someone. He only knew that Cerva had been absolutely everything, and their daughter in her absence. And now there was nothing.
Leliana. Dizzy. Luster? Heartfire.
He didn't deserve a single one. Why did any of them even bother trying? Why couldn't they see he was just a low-life bottom feeder, a killer, a monster, the dirt at their feet unworthy of touching them. He was possessive and controlling, always grasping too tightly to what he loved until it shattered in his bloody fist.
He would break them all. It always ended that way.
Even as he ran, he held them too tightly.
And he knew, god, he knew he shouldn't come back. But she was his and he needed to see, even from afar, that she had found a life without him. He needed to see her happy. She'd been pregnant, and would've had the baby by now. He wanted to see Zoryn's boy, of course it would be, or maybe a girl. A little girl with gold skin and loving parents.
Zoryn would take better care of them then he ever could.
Dizzy would've learned it by now. So it was okay to come find them, just to see. Just to let it hurt.
He wanted them happy.
_______
He knew the face staring back at him as they both cleared the trees to a small clearing. His heart dropped at the roiling rage in Zoryn's eyes, the seething pain and wild hunger.
Things were not so happy, then.
"You," Zor ground out, his voice husky and thick, nearly growling. God, yeah, that was familiar. Would they always meet this way? Dov's pulse picked up immediately, adrenaline exploding under his skin, black eyes trained on him. There was a haunted, hollowness to his gaze, but he was ready. He would enjoy this punishment, and learn later how exactly he'd earned it this time.
"Zoryn," he barely said in a soft breath, squaring up to the blonde. This introduction for them was so at odds with the emotions in him. The joy at seeing him again, even as pissed as he clearly was with Dov, the promise of violence in those brown eyes. But in the end, this was Dov's best friend, his only friend, and he had needed him for so long now. Deprived himself for so damn long now.
Dovev had never enjoyed the physical pain as Zoryn did, but he craved it now. Just to feel again, to have Zor make him feel again. Do it. And it had to be him, had to be Zoryn. He needed this. This was a blessing.
His dark face hardened in concentration, letting the world fall away and leave only them left in his mind, and as Zoryn charged towards him, he threw himself forward to meet him. They ran head on, colliding. Zor's shoulder shoved into his own covered in armor, and Dov reached out to snatch a bite on Zoryn's neck at their close proximity.
The gold man kept moving, his feet thrusting into the ground and those powerful back hooves shooting out like cannons to hit their mark. It left a loud bang echoing through the forest around them, one foot blocked by a plate of bone and the other continuing to strike into the soft skin at the edge of Dov's belly and back leg.
Dovev turned without further retaliation, just as Zoryn was spinning to face him again, those vicious jaws lunging in to embed themselves in Dov's neck between pads of armor. His eyes slammed shut and he cried out, a front leg lifting to put pressure against Zoryn's chest.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
Dov's teeth clench hard, his lips pulling back in a snarl and his eyes bladed. "Dying," he growled shortly, and it wasn't the kind of answer Zoryn would likely expect from him. He didn't wait for a response though, adding as he squared up to Zoryn again, "But I'm not dead yet."
He launched forward in a blur of stars and blue and black, unseen muscles rippling. Yeah, he looked sickly. But it was a magical appearance, and he'd been a colt once thick with muscle as stallions older than him would've envied. This was only a natural, magical deception. Underestimating him often lead to someone's death. But not Zoryn. He'd known him back then before his skin sunk in and before his armor ruptured out of his body. He'd always known Dov's natural-born power.
He threw his full weight into the attack, striding strong and ducking his head, turning it to the side to ram his shoulder plate into Zoryn's chest. His head snaked around to grab hold of the fleshy skin behind Zor's foreleg, just before his belly, biting down hard and holding. He left his shoulders and spine bare, but he didn't care. This was his punishment and Zoryn's praise. He would give it with pleasure.
we're slaves to any semblance of touch
Lord, we should quit but we love it too much
