Thunder rumbles outside, the skies darkening, the heaven’s opening to pour rain down. A torrent that matches the storm of emotion she had finally released in the safety and darkness of night. No one watches on these darkest of nights.
No one except him.
She should have known, but her thoughts had been too tangled, her heart to heavy to reach for someone else who could too easily tear it apart. But he’s there, and even though she refuses to look at him, she knows he has found her. “Go away,” she gasps into the stone, her voice rough and strained. Uncertain.
But he doesn’t, and for once she is almost grateful he doesn’t listen. He is the last one she had wanted to witness her grief, but he is the only one who might know how to offer comfort. It is a war in her heart, that fear and longing. But as he pulls her against him, unheeding of her resistance, longing wins.
She presses against him as hard as she had pressed against that wall, her body shuddering with that grief, too long restrained. Perhaps in the morning, they would pretend this never happened. Perhaps in the morning, she would scold herself for her weakness. But now, tonight, it’s been too long since anyone has held her. Too long since she has been offered the warmth of a comforting touch. He has always wanted her body, her pleasure. But now, for perhaps the first time in their long acquaintance, she thinks perhaps he could actually care about her heart and soul.
And so she lets her tears soak his skin, baptizing him in emotion she has never before shared with any other. It’s irony at its finest, that he should know her more intimately than any other living being despite never having shared her body. And that, perhaps, is more terrifying than anything else.
But she won’t (she can’t) think of that now. Instead she presses close, uncaring that his armor digs into her skin. It is a distraction from her emotional pain. She doesn’t know how long they remain like that. Long enough for the rain to slow to a trickle. Long enough for her mind to rally and her heart to settle. With a shaky breath, she presses her face face into the dark skin of Dovev’s neck. She can’t look at him, not now. “Why have you stayed Dovev?” The question comes out on a hoarse whisper, but there is far more feeling in that question than she has expressed in ages. Perhaps in her entire life.
The minute the question leaves her mouth however, she regrets asking. She isn’t sure she actually wishes to know the answer. In fact, she isn’t sure she wishes to know anything. She only wants to forget. Forget her pain, forget her questions, forget her uncertainty. For once in her life, she wants to shut her mind off and pretend she can be everything he wants her to be.
She isn’t made for this. She has never been good at being a lover. She can’t even pretend at the experience he has had. But she can show him her sincerity. Closing her eyes, she presses her lips against his neck. A soft, silent plea she isn’t entirely certain how to say aloud.
i see your sins
and i want to set them free
