now all our memories, they're haunted; vulgaris

[leliana]

She doesn’t know what she expects but it’s not this.

She doesn’t expect to be scooped up and pressed into his chest. She doesn’t expect to feel the warmth of him surround her, his lips to run down her neck and spine. She doesn’t expect to feel his chest to hers like it did in those early nights when she whispered promises and gave him the broken, shattered pieces of her heart as if it was a treasure that anyone would want.

But he does, and she breaks.

She breaks because she knows he’s strong enough to handle it.

All of the emotion she has kept so tucked away. All of the ways she has pretended that she’s okay when she’s not. She’s not. They come tumbling down. She is no longer the calm, dependable sister. She is no longer the reliable, self-sacrificing healer. She is no longer the warm, stable mother keeping a watchful eye on her daughter. Instead she is the broken woman she is inside.

She is flooded with her grief and confusion and pain.

Hot tears form in the corner of her eyes and she begins to tremble, the warning signs of the rumblings along her faultlines. She begins to sob quietly, ashamed of herself but unable to hold them back any longer. She grits her teeth against the soft cry that builds in her throat and she presses her cheek against him.

He is so sturdy and she hates herself for finally releasing all of her to lay at his feet. All of the jagged parts of her that she never wanted him to see. All of the ways life has mangled her heart.

“I am so sorry,” she finally chokes, her voice thick. “I am so sorry.” She pressed a kiss to him even though she knows she doesn’t deserve it. Steals it anyway to tuck it away. “I am so broken, Vulgaris.” She feels the tears as they trace down her too prominent cheekbones, the path of them burning. “I love you so much and I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve any of this.”

it started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in

@[vulgaris]