[private] all of history collapsing in its wake; kagerus

[magnus]

magnus

howling ghosts, they reappear
in mountains that are stacked with fear

Each moment is more painful than the last, the truth of his own darkness, of his own mistakes twisting like a knife into his chest. He almost gasps against the pain of it, the regret so thick in his throat that he fears he may choke on it. But he does not have the right to such cowardice, does not have the right to leave her here bearing the weight of his own missteps and thus he remains, gold-flecked eyes burning, his scarred body tense with it, but still. He would not leave—not yet. He couldn’t.

At her words, hollow as they may be, he relaxes ever so slightly, although the weight of the guilt does not relent. She may have forgiven him, but it will be a long time until he does the same for himself. It will be a long time before he can face himself for what he has done, for the way he held her as if she was his.

“You are kinder than I deserve,” is all he says, whiskey voice tight in his throat. She is stiff but graceful, her face scarred with something he had not left. Part of him wants to ask about it, wants to learn what encounter she had that had left her face so mutilated, but he doesn’t. After all, it doesn’t matter—not really. His own body is riddled with scars, his mind even more so, and he was not ashamed.

It was a mark of pride, of strength—and if she wanted to tell him, she would.

“Your home is beautiful,” he looks way from her to survey the way that it folds around them, the way that the whole land seemed to curl around and cradle the lake in the center of it all. “But it is different than the jungle,” he admits, hoping to lighten the conversation even a little. “Then again, so is Tephra.”

He pauses, thinking he should just leave, but he cannot help the same stirring in his belly, that same need to befriend the Queen of dreams. “How did you find yourself here, Kagerus?”

A pause.

“Only if it’s a story you want to tell.”

but you're a king and I'm a lionheart