and I can hear the sirens, but I cannot walk away; abysm

[rapt]

there is a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail ------ the dream of about-to-be-hit, which is a bad dream ------------ but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever   When it happened the first time, it made sense. The pregnancy had been hers, until the end, until it was a threat to her life. Only the last hours had it been his, transferred in a dreamland. Only in the last hours had he felt the gravity, the movement of life inside him. He’d barely had time to process it, really, for the contractions had come fast, and then, of course, Abysm, and everything changed. He told himself this – that everything changed. That he changed.   Truth was, removing the temptation is not quite the same as a fundamental change. Truth was, the moment a monster appeared, goat-horned and gravel-voiced, nothing changed. Truth was, he’d been ready to kneel from the moment he laid eyes on him. He’d been ready for what came after, too, had taken it greedily, a horrible ecstasy that laid waste to him. The monster asked, and he gave, and gave, and gave. Always willing. Always eager.   He’s a stupid boy, but he knows – or thought he knew – enough biology to live in denial for months. He grew fat, but told himself it was spring grasses, clover sweet as honey, sugar on the tongue. It wasn’t until the thing started stirring that the reality of it peeked in. Impossible, he thought. But there was no such thing as impossible in Beqanna.   Truth was, he was pregnant. Truth was, he had to tell his son.   It is the first time in his life that he is reluctant to see him, sure his appearance will give it away immediately (he is not due, not quite yet, but he feels drawn to the ground, his body constantly jostled by impossibly small hooves). He greets his son as he normally does, muzzle to his neck, inhaling the sweet scent of him. He withdraws, and swallows. “Abysm…” he begins, “there’s something you should know.”   rapt caius x else

time jump!