The beginning of a life, and the ending of another - Birthing, any

[Roseen]

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

  The trek to Nerine had been exhausting for the expecting sooty bay. Being pregnant was not easy by any means, and her talk with Leilan certainly didn’t free her from any troubles. No, she was only more troubled than before. Indeed, her suspicions had been confirmed; Leilan felt no love for her at all. She had been used, her heart toyed with like it held no importance. She’d hardly had any time to heal, nor think about what would come next. Her broken heart blinded her from her previous goal to find a home, and at the moment, she didn’t care. Never had she expected a wounded heart to feel so terrible. It almost felt like she had received a physical slash to it; her chest ached from the intensity, her legs weak and trembling. Tears finally threatened to fall from her clouded eyes, and for a moment her legs had lost all purpose to move onward.

She stopped dead in her tracks, having barely managed to pass the edge of the sister Kingdom. She didn’t even try to keep the tears from falling as her mind lingered on her pain. How could he be so cruel? Had she done something to deserve such heart ache? Now her foal would grow without knowing their father. And without a home, her foal won’t be safe. She needed a place where other foals were plenty so they could have friends. A place where they could have a better life than she had, a life they deserve. She didn’t want her foal to grow up alone, afraid of speaking to others and so desperate for attention and affection that they’d be foolish like she had been. Yeah...it wasn’t Leilan’s fault this happened. It was her. If she hadn’t been so desperate and foolish she wouldn’t be suffering so. And now because of her foolishness, she would have a foal who will likely suffer just as she was. All because of her.

Now her tears fell with new found purpose. She wept for her unborn child. Guilt, regret, and self aimed hatred weighed heavy on her mind. Her innocent foal would suffer because of her...in all truth, it was her that was cruel. She raised her head gradually to look ahead, her vision blurry. What was she supposed to do? She had no one to turn to for help, no one to look to for guidance. She felt utterly helpless.

It was only once she stared ahead at the vast land long enough that she remembered where she was. Nerine, the Kingdom of mares. A Kingdom...and Breckin lived there. Though the memory of said mare sent a pang of pain to her heart once more, she knew there was someone to turn to after all. The leopard-spotted mare had been kind to her during their first meeting, and at the time she had been searching for recruits for Nerine. Was she still welcomed here? Only one way to find out.

She forced her trembling legs to move her further into the Kingdom. She couldn’t give up. Not yet. Her foal deserves a life better than her own. One way or another, she will make sure her foal is given a good life. Surely Nerine has plenty of foals to befriend her own so they won’t be lonesome. She will teach them they best she could, and be sure they won’t grow to be as foolish as her and learn to avoid making mistakes as bad as her own. It won’t be easy, especially since her foal will have no father to help teach, a mate she would not have to help her when she truly needs it. She’ll need to strengthen herself as well. Need to set a good example in what to do and what to avoid. She won’t be able to be a mother if she remains so pathetic and foolish. 

With a wave of suddenly found determination, she walked faster. She will bury the mare she is now, and strive to be something better.

ROSEEN

a nomad

@[Breckin] We haven’t had a thread with Roseen and Breckin yet, so I thought this would be a good time to start if you wanted :3