Her softness drew him in. But like a noose.
He tied it so neatly around his own neck for her and he didn’t even realize it.
He'd probably broken every damn bone in his body at least twice. Had lain nearly dead even more times. Ripped skin, ruptured organs, splintered bones.
But not a goddamn thing could compare to the amount of pain that assaulted him as he watched, seemingly in slow motion, as his own likeness faded from her beautiful wings and someone else's begin to show.
He couldn't watch. Sucked in a sharp breath and turned away quick, started walking. Didn't know where, didn't care. Wasn't stopping.
He couldn't fucking breathe, and he didn't understand any of it.
Oh god, and why the fuck was he crying!
He couldn't think through the pain, so fucking overwhelming. He'd never felt anything like it. Couldn't fucking breathe! Gasping breaths like he couldn't even get oxygen anymore, eyes not really seeing where he was going. And a heart that begged to stop beating.
Tears, uncontrolled and unashamed, slipped freely down his face, mostly hidden by his face plate. And he didn't even fucking understand!! None if it made sense and he just wanted the pain to stop. God, please make it stop. Just keep walking. Don't look back. He was nothing to her. Just a ghost that probably deserved some revenge, and she sure as hell found it.
Good. Then get on.
Leave him be.
A name snaked into his mind and he clung to it, held it close to his heart and wrapped his soul around it tight. He let it repeat over and over in his head, let it fill him and try to chase away the pain of this stranger. Over and over, with every step, until it wasn't a name anymore. It was his every breath.
Cerva never would've done this.
Another tear fell, his face contorted in agony and head held high, eyes burning with a different sort of rage. A wrath of pain, of heartache, of suffering. Of his whole damn existence.
Cerva never would've done this.
If only he hadn't killed her.
we're slaves to any semblance of touch
Lord, we should quit but we love it too much
