06-01-2018, 09:47 AM
Maugrim is not the first monster I have come across, and I know that he will not be the last. Sylva is full of them; the world is full of them. Beqanna is a dangerous place. That has been pressed into my mind since I was a child: the outside world is dangerous and Loess will keep you safe. Mother had told me that. Arthas had told me that. Maybe it is true, but I am not in Loess anymore. I am not a princess or a queen or anything important at all, and there is nothing to keep me safe but my own hooves and teeth.
I've never been taught to defend myself, and my attempts at resistance have been futile. I am not a strong creature or a large one, I have no glittering teeth or talons. Maugrim is wrong; I can only be prey. That is what I have always been - will always be. I've accepted this; why must this stranger insist other wise?
"Death might be preferable." I reply without hesitation, because his mention of dying is not the first time I have thought of it. Death would be the easy way. I have stood atop a boulder whose height would mean a deadly fall and watched the ground below beckon. Too easy. Life was not meant to be easy, I know, and have always backed down from the ledge. My situation is my fault, and I still have my promise to Arthas to keep. It occurs to me that he had wanted a virgin queen, that he had whispered his promises to me when I was unsullied.
Would he still want me now, when I am damaged goods?
About to be further damaged, I realize as Maugrim comes closer, and I release a shuddering breath as he reaches toward my cheek. There is no click of teeth, just a damp touch. I remain motionless even as he moves toward my wings. I fight the urge to pull them closer (they have not yet been broken), but I have seen how fear drives these monsters. The piebald stallion is gentle as he smoothes my wayward feathers, but his careful touch does nothing to quell the fear (if anything, I feel the hard knot of panic grow. There is no use running away. I'm always caught. Kwartz has taught me that. He has instilled the fear of touch, both kind and cruel that I am unable to battle.
"I can't change what I am." I tell him. "And even if I wanted to, they wouldn't let me." I don't name the 'they'; I don't feel there is a need.
I've never been taught to defend myself, and my attempts at resistance have been futile. I am not a strong creature or a large one, I have no glittering teeth or talons. Maugrim is wrong; I can only be prey. That is what I have always been - will always be. I've accepted this; why must this stranger insist other wise?
"Death might be preferable." I reply without hesitation, because his mention of dying is not the first time I have thought of it. Death would be the easy way. I have stood atop a boulder whose height would mean a deadly fall and watched the ground below beckon. Too easy. Life was not meant to be easy, I know, and have always backed down from the ledge. My situation is my fault, and I still have my promise to Arthas to keep. It occurs to me that he had wanted a virgin queen, that he had whispered his promises to me when I was unsullied.
Would he still want me now, when I am damaged goods?
About to be further damaged, I realize as Maugrim comes closer, and I release a shuddering breath as he reaches toward my cheek. There is no click of teeth, just a damp touch. I remain motionless even as he moves toward my wings. I fight the urge to pull them closer (they have not yet been broken), but I have seen how fear drives these monsters. The piebald stallion is gentle as he smoothes my wayward feathers, but his careful touch does nothing to quell the fear (if anything, I feel the hard knot of panic grow. There is no use running away. I'm always caught. Kwartz has taught me that. He has instilled the fear of touch, both kind and cruel that I am unable to battle.
"I can't change what I am." I tell him. "And even if I wanted to, they wouldn't let me." I don't name the 'they'; I don't feel there is a need.
