05-29-2018, 12:47 AM
kagerus
and in my dreams, i kissed your lips a thousand times
He's trying just as hard as I am to overcome the awkwardness of our situation, but failing just as miserably, it would seem. His smile is handsome by all means, but it wavers just like mine, and we're left floundering momentary silence that feels more than eternal. The skin around his mouth stretches very subtly, and I realize that he's chewing on his lip - I can't tell whether that soothes me, or only ramps up my own anxiety. Taking a moment to compose myself, I sneeze quietly and shake out my mane, reminding myself that we're trying too damn hard.
Straightening, and feeling a little better while I do, it's not long before I go on and ruin my own groundedness with that godforsaken, impulsive question. Even Smoak reacts to it, shooting his gaze to me rapid-fire as if I'd asked him why he'd killed the gods and feasted on the marrow of their bones. Well, this is pretty much the same thing - fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, why did I ask that question? I almost step forward to reassure him that he needn't answer, my hoof actually physically shunting forward a half foot - but in my moment of hesitation the stallion picks up the thread of conversation I'd so carelessly left dangling.
Inhaling and trying once again to ground myself, I move my hoof back into its position, pretending that it'd never happened. Perking my ears politely - though I am genuinely interested, I'm a bit on autopilot as my brain tries not to explode out of sheer discomfort - I listen as he explains. There's even a tiny smile on his lips, but it's not hard to figure out that it's there for the exact same reason as why my ears perk. Nodding diligently at appropriate times, it takes me a hot second to actually process his words; and when I do, I find nothing offensive about them, indeed grateful that he hadn't cursed me out for prying.
"You were lucky to have such good friends growing up," I offer without actually thinking about it, allowing my conversational side to take over as I try to form something of an acquaintanceship with the handsome champagne stallion. "Until the reckoning, I lived exclusively with my father. He was a priest in a Kingdom before - and then we moved to the Amazons, the kingdom that Nerine is founded from." I smile to remember those times, eyes dropping to scan the waters in fond remembrance of my solitary childhood. As I'm remembering, an intrusive thought wonders if by admitting this, the stallion before me might have questions about my age; but so be it... Ten years older isn't too old to be Solace's lover, right??
Anyway.
"I never had kids my age to bond with." These words come quietly from me as my nutmeg gaze lifts to his piercing green one, a soft and true smile upon my lips. "I'm glad that you all had one another. I'm close with the twins - and I'm glad to be getting to know you as well, Smoak."
Feeling as if we've made some progress with this last exchange, I settle my weight gently into a hip as the setting sun casts an array of colours upon us. When he lobs the same question back at me, I am almost expecting it; instead of finding myself panicked, I simply take a moment to collect myself and my response, hoping that he will understand and be feeling more relaxed, as I am.
"Well, when I returned from the Beyond and found myself in post-Reckoning Beqanna without my father, I came here, having heard that it was a sanctuary." My eyes go to the grotto where Solace and her children rest, smiling despite myself, though I quickly return my gaze and soften the all too happy expression. "I met her that day - she welcomed me into the kingdom." Yes, it certainly hadn't been love at first sight - that much I know. "Later on, I found my father and he came here with his wife. I settled into my duties as a diplomat, and then warrior, become more and more depended upon until the coronation, which we've discussed." Feeling as though I have perhaps overshared, I finish my spiel with a smile, casting my gaze downwards in the hopes to avoid catching exactly how he feels about all I've said. "It's been a long journey, but I'm grateful for this kingdom and for Solace to lead it with."
After a pause, I lift my eyes again, steeling my guts as I consider the man gently. "I don't know if it's what you want to hear - but she did love you. I can see it in her dreams... I am a manipulator of them, is how," I offer hastily, not wanting to confuse him on top of everything. "Thank you, for being her light - for being such an integral and warm part of her childhood." Because I love her, I do not say, though my eyes speak volumes as I gaze towards him; And that you could love her in my absence is a gift I will always, always treasure.
Straightening, and feeling a little better while I do, it's not long before I go on and ruin my own groundedness with that godforsaken, impulsive question. Even Smoak reacts to it, shooting his gaze to me rapid-fire as if I'd asked him why he'd killed the gods and feasted on the marrow of their bones. Well, this is pretty much the same thing - fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, why did I ask that question? I almost step forward to reassure him that he needn't answer, my hoof actually physically shunting forward a half foot - but in my moment of hesitation the stallion picks up the thread of conversation I'd so carelessly left dangling.
Inhaling and trying once again to ground myself, I move my hoof back into its position, pretending that it'd never happened. Perking my ears politely - though I am genuinely interested, I'm a bit on autopilot as my brain tries not to explode out of sheer discomfort - I listen as he explains. There's even a tiny smile on his lips, but it's not hard to figure out that it's there for the exact same reason as why my ears perk. Nodding diligently at appropriate times, it takes me a hot second to actually process his words; and when I do, I find nothing offensive about them, indeed grateful that he hadn't cursed me out for prying.
"You were lucky to have such good friends growing up," I offer without actually thinking about it, allowing my conversational side to take over as I try to form something of an acquaintanceship with the handsome champagne stallion. "Until the reckoning, I lived exclusively with my father. He was a priest in a Kingdom before - and then we moved to the Amazons, the kingdom that Nerine is founded from." I smile to remember those times, eyes dropping to scan the waters in fond remembrance of my solitary childhood. As I'm remembering, an intrusive thought wonders if by admitting this, the stallion before me might have questions about my age; but so be it... Ten years older isn't too old to be Solace's lover, right??
Anyway.
"I never had kids my age to bond with." These words come quietly from me as my nutmeg gaze lifts to his piercing green one, a soft and true smile upon my lips. "I'm glad that you all had one another. I'm close with the twins - and I'm glad to be getting to know you as well, Smoak."
Feeling as if we've made some progress with this last exchange, I settle my weight gently into a hip as the setting sun casts an array of colours upon us. When he lobs the same question back at me, I am almost expecting it; instead of finding myself panicked, I simply take a moment to collect myself and my response, hoping that he will understand and be feeling more relaxed, as I am.
"Well, when I returned from the Beyond and found myself in post-Reckoning Beqanna without my father, I came here, having heard that it was a sanctuary." My eyes go to the grotto where Solace and her children rest, smiling despite myself, though I quickly return my gaze and soften the all too happy expression. "I met her that day - she welcomed me into the kingdom." Yes, it certainly hadn't been love at first sight - that much I know. "Later on, I found my father and he came here with his wife. I settled into my duties as a diplomat, and then warrior, become more and more depended upon until the coronation, which we've discussed." Feeling as though I have perhaps overshared, I finish my spiel with a smile, casting my gaze downwards in the hopes to avoid catching exactly how he feels about all I've said. "It's been a long journey, but I'm grateful for this kingdom and for Solace to lead it with."
After a pause, I lift my eyes again, steeling my guts as I consider the man gently. "I don't know if it's what you want to hear - but she did love you. I can see it in her dreams... I am a manipulator of them, is how," I offer hastily, not wanting to confuse him on top of everything. "Thank you, for being her light - for being such an integral and warm part of her childhood." Because I love her, I do not say, though my eyes speak volumes as I gaze towards him; And that you could love her in my absence is a gift I will always, always treasure.
@[Smoak]
![[Image: kag]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/2e8039018ce4dff6112c167ec23e886a/tumblr_p72zjit7wC1s5a0qvo1_100.png)
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