WE BOTH LOST THE WAR • Kagerus

[Smoak]

It comes as no surprise to the bone-armored Smoak that his fumbling attempt to avoid the new Caretaker of Hyaline has failed. There's a discomfort in Smoak's stomach as he struggles with how to feel about Kagerus ─ he is happy, of course, that Solace has found someone to love her the way that she deserves and that she can love in return, but his youthfulness and his ache for companionship rouse a jealousy within him that he had never experienced before. Smoak grits his blunted teeth together as he gazes out over the lucid waters with hardened hazel eyes. It could be easy for him to direct all of his negative energy at her, to be a product of Ledger's teachings instead of Dahmer's, but that is not him. No part of his parents' disappearance, or his own for that matter (maybe if he had stayed, it would be him at Solace's side), are this mare's fault.

He sighs again. An ear twitches in its bed of tousled mane as the water ripples behind him, the sound attached to the very bay overo mare he'd been trying to avoid. She greets him casually, coming into the water to match his depth but never truly invading his personal space. Smoak turns his hazel eyes and then, slowly, his head so that he can see the face of the painted woman. He nods his armored head to acknowledge her greeting before shifting his weight to view her more comfortably and the slosh of the water follows his movements. "Kag," he says simply with gruffness in his voice.

Awkwardness pools in his mouth, arresting the small talk that would have continued his conversation with Kagerus. Silence falls between them as his hazel eyes flick uncomfortably away from the mare and then back, his weight shifted again but this time out of uneasiness. Finally he finds his words after a long exhale, and Smoak offers the painted mare a small, forced smile. "So, congratulations are in order, yes?" he asks, though even he is unsure if he is referring to her coronation or her relationship with Solace.

Smoak makes a renewed attempt to repress his bitterness, even as he can smell the scent of Solace emanating from his newest acquaintance. "I apologize for not speaking with you following the gathering. I would like to hold rank in both castes, if that is okay. I would like to help as much as I can. It may just take me a little bit of time for me to be a healthy fighter," he admits in closing, remembering the hollows between his ribs and the way his champagne cheeks sink into his skull, both of which is knows that she gazes upon now.

S M O A K
here's a handshake, soldier, 'cause we both lost the war

thanks evvie !

@[Kagerus]