The day has been slow, sweet with the scents of autumn. I hurt deep inside, although the external damages have healed in the weeks since leaving my golden home. Lamb, sweet Lamb, has been loyal as ever. Truly, I can depend on that kind soul more than any other, the daughter I might never have. Of the inky stag Jesper there has been no sign, a fact which has caused wordless worry to etch itself across my coffee cream companion's pretty features. "I'm sure he's fine, darling. He just got out a different way. He might not even know where we are yet." I tried to reassure her one day, hoping I spoke truth. Lamb has seen enough heartbreak in her young life. What could I possibly say if I caused the demise of her paramour?
I do not look so ragged anymore, praise the gods. Instead, my lovely sparkling cloak has grown thicker in wake of the colder weather. The shine has started to return to my pastel plumage, and I am more relieved than I can openly admit. The world might be ending, but I will damn well look good while it burns around me. At the edge of the Hylinian lake, I can almost make myself believe that nothing has changed. It's a feeble peace, but it's all my mind can hold on to yet.
Lamb knows before I do, that our quiet oasis is being infringed on. I don't want to deal with others. With their questions and insinuations and looks of contempt. I won't have it. My tongue arms itself in preparation, only to settle back in an uncertain smile as the interloper makes himself known. That familiar dark figure arrives, and suddenly Lamb's intrigue makes sense. "Jesper." I greet him with quiet warmth, though with a touch less emotion than the girl beside me expresses. Clearly there are feelings between the two beyond what I had witnessed when I was their queen. "I'm glad to see you alive and in one piece." My observation is hardly necessary with him standing so plainly before us, but it's a relief nonetheless. And suddenly the weight of my failure sinks over my shoulders, as though my belly has been filled with stones.
These two had depended on me. They had looked to me for counsel and security, and I had failed them utterly. Seeing them content in each other's embrace belayed my guilt somewhat. They had each other, and it looked like that was quite a lot. And while I no longer hold sway over their lives, I think I will always feel a degree of responsibility for their well-being. From the looks of things at the moment though, it seems their well-being is not up to me. I think they have it quite under control without me. Truly, I haven't seen Lamb this illuminated in weeks. Was there a one who might look at me the way they look at each other? I had that, once...
Maybe, maybe... a face surfaces in my mind, a portrait of smoke and starlight. A husky voice that set my blood on fire seasons ago. I feel stronger now. Strong enough to make the journey. These two seem able enough to find happiness in their own little world... "I'm going away for a bit. To Loess, if you need to find me. Hyaline is a lovely kingdom, and I know Solace will look out for you both if you choose to stay here. But you'll have to forgive me for my pride, I can't bring myself to call her my queen. Not after having enjoyed being yours." I kiss their cheeks affectionately. These two made my stint as a ruler worthwhile.
With the ache of disuse, my wings stretch back and forth until they feel limber enough to carry me. There is no freedom like that which the sky offers me. Beyond anything else I have encountered, alone among the stars is where I feel most like myself. Suddenly I need it, and can't think why I've put this off so long. "Take care, both of you. I don't know when or if I'll return, but if you ever need any sort of help which I can assist with, tell me. Please." Shaking back the ombre lengths of my mane, I smile at them, committing the image to memory. They've meant so much to me. Slowly I lope away, wings catching currents of air until my feet no longer strike the earth. Up, up and away, on to the next chapter of my life.
@[Jesper] @[Lavendel] experimenting with first person for her, and using it as a segue to her going to meet Castile. Much love to both of you <3
I do not look so ragged anymore, praise the gods. Instead, my lovely sparkling cloak has grown thicker in wake of the colder weather. The shine has started to return to my pastel plumage, and I am more relieved than I can openly admit. The world might be ending, but I will damn well look good while it burns around me. At the edge of the Hylinian lake, I can almost make myself believe that nothing has changed. It's a feeble peace, but it's all my mind can hold on to yet.
Lamb knows before I do, that our quiet oasis is being infringed on. I don't want to deal with others. With their questions and insinuations and looks of contempt. I won't have it. My tongue arms itself in preparation, only to settle back in an uncertain smile as the interloper makes himself known. That familiar dark figure arrives, and suddenly Lamb's intrigue makes sense. "Jesper." I greet him with quiet warmth, though with a touch less emotion than the girl beside me expresses. Clearly there are feelings between the two beyond what I had witnessed when I was their queen. "I'm glad to see you alive and in one piece." My observation is hardly necessary with him standing so plainly before us, but it's a relief nonetheless. And suddenly the weight of my failure sinks over my shoulders, as though my belly has been filled with stones.
These two had depended on me. They had looked to me for counsel and security, and I had failed them utterly. Seeing them content in each other's embrace belayed my guilt somewhat. They had each other, and it looked like that was quite a lot. And while I no longer hold sway over their lives, I think I will always feel a degree of responsibility for their well-being. From the looks of things at the moment though, it seems their well-being is not up to me. I think they have it quite under control without me. Truly, I haven't seen Lamb this illuminated in weeks. Was there a one who might look at me the way they look at each other? I had that, once...
Maybe, maybe... a face surfaces in my mind, a portrait of smoke and starlight. A husky voice that set my blood on fire seasons ago. I feel stronger now. Strong enough to make the journey. These two seem able enough to find happiness in their own little world... "I'm going away for a bit. To Loess, if you need to find me. Hyaline is a lovely kingdom, and I know Solace will look out for you both if you choose to stay here. But you'll have to forgive me for my pride, I can't bring myself to call her my queen. Not after having enjoyed being yours." I kiss their cheeks affectionately. These two made my stint as a ruler worthwhile.
With the ache of disuse, my wings stretch back and forth until they feel limber enough to carry me. There is no freedom like that which the sky offers me. Beyond anything else I have encountered, alone among the stars is where I feel most like myself. Suddenly I need it, and can't think why I've put this off so long. "Take care, both of you. I don't know when or if I'll return, but if you ever need any sort of help which I can assist with, tell me. Please." Shaking back the ombre lengths of my mane, I smile at them, committing the image to memory. They've meant so much to me. Slowly I lope away, wings catching currents of air until my feet no longer strike the earth. Up, up and away, on to the next chapter of my life.
@[Jesper] @[Lavendel] experimenting with first person for her, and using it as a segue to her going to meet Castile. Much love to both of you <3