03-15-2018, 10:48 PM
hold me in this wild, wild world
'cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be
'cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be
An ear flicks back, focused on the sound hoofbeats approaching, but he does not turn his gaze from the waves until his name reaches him as well, and then the bay stallion turns his body away from the waves, seemingly just in time as the grinning woman collides with him, and to his own surprise a laugh – a real laugh – rises from within the bay stallion, even as he returns the physical touch with one of his own, a gentle bump of his nose to her neck just above her shoulder. And then he tries to remember when the last time he did either of those things was.
The second was perhaps more recent – Brennen does still have chicks in the nest, or close enough by to count, and he has always been liberal with physical affection amongst his brood. But outside of his family, casual physical affection has been sparse. His difficulty immersing himself in a new Kingdom, a new family, has taken its toll on his social life. He is reluctant to exchange any but the shallowest of exchanges without any underlying base of trust, and he has taken few friends and even fewer serious lovers in the new world. The casual contact between the two of them now, careless warmth between friends, is more than welcome.
The laugh, well, that is a similar problem. Brennen has a public mask, with it’s little half-smile and it’s carefully-within-socially-accepted-bounds chuckle designed for use in conversations with strangers and casual acquaintances. His deeper feelings are kept carefully under wraps unless he unleashes one intentionally, and most of the time even those around him all the time see the controlled side of the bay almost exclusively – the level of comfort he must obtain to let an unscripted, genuine laugh escape is deep waters few ever tread. He had not realized that he missed that, either.
“You died?” he deadpans with a frown, tilting his head in consideration of the actual question that Scorch had asked while leaving the hanging silence for best teasing effect. “No, you know I missed you. The world is just not the same without you in it,” The truth makes his tone soft for a moment before he forces it away and turns his voice to his own deathless time. “What ever happens?” He wonders out loud, knowing that even if Scorch inserts sassy or scathing comments into his occasional silences, she will continue to listen. “The Tundra fell apart after Errant’s second rule. I was Regent for his successors, but they were less than stellar. I was busy juggling many threads of my own life and let the brothers do as they pleased, and they didn’t always make stellar choices. We had to kill one particular pretender to the throne because he just wouldn’t leave.” He remembers them converging on Mountain, his unfortunate demise, the way he had realized the Tundra perhaps needed more of his personal attention at that point.
“And then the world fell apart,” he looks at Scorch then, and he knows she will see the deep-seated loss in Brennen’s honey-brown eyes without him having to speak a word, and they can share that moment of silence for all they had lost to the whims of the fae. He doesn’t even think of the time without magic – that had been nothing compared to the loss he still feels for his Tundra. “Everything that ever meant anything, gone as if it never was. And what is the General of the Tundra, without a Tundra? The silent protector of the Falls, without a Falls? It has taken me most of these years just to get my feet underneath me again. By the time I had sorted out my own family, there were no Kingdoms left to claim for the Brotherhood. I tried to serve Nayl here in Nerine, but it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I was never meant to be an Amazon, just to admire the lot of you from afar,” a gentle chuckle here, forcing lightness into what might otherwise just be the most depressing conversation ever. “I went back to being homeless, but that suited me even less. I’ve settled in Ischia, finally, and it’s growing on me, but it’s not right either.”
Nothing is right, in a world without the Brotherhood.
The second was perhaps more recent – Brennen does still have chicks in the nest, or close enough by to count, and he has always been liberal with physical affection amongst his brood. But outside of his family, casual physical affection has been sparse. His difficulty immersing himself in a new Kingdom, a new family, has taken its toll on his social life. He is reluctant to exchange any but the shallowest of exchanges without any underlying base of trust, and he has taken few friends and even fewer serious lovers in the new world. The casual contact between the two of them now, careless warmth between friends, is more than welcome.
The laugh, well, that is a similar problem. Brennen has a public mask, with it’s little half-smile and it’s carefully-within-socially-accepted-bounds chuckle designed for use in conversations with strangers and casual acquaintances. His deeper feelings are kept carefully under wraps unless he unleashes one intentionally, and most of the time even those around him all the time see the controlled side of the bay almost exclusively – the level of comfort he must obtain to let an unscripted, genuine laugh escape is deep waters few ever tread. He had not realized that he missed that, either.
“You died?” he deadpans with a frown, tilting his head in consideration of the actual question that Scorch had asked while leaving the hanging silence for best teasing effect. “No, you know I missed you. The world is just not the same without you in it,” The truth makes his tone soft for a moment before he forces it away and turns his voice to his own deathless time. “What ever happens?” He wonders out loud, knowing that even if Scorch inserts sassy or scathing comments into his occasional silences, she will continue to listen. “The Tundra fell apart after Errant’s second rule. I was Regent for his successors, but they were less than stellar. I was busy juggling many threads of my own life and let the brothers do as they pleased, and they didn’t always make stellar choices. We had to kill one particular pretender to the throne because he just wouldn’t leave.” He remembers them converging on Mountain, his unfortunate demise, the way he had realized the Tundra perhaps needed more of his personal attention at that point.
“And then the world fell apart,” he looks at Scorch then, and he knows she will see the deep-seated loss in Brennen’s honey-brown eyes without him having to speak a word, and they can share that moment of silence for all they had lost to the whims of the fae. He doesn’t even think of the time without magic – that had been nothing compared to the loss he still feels for his Tundra. “Everything that ever meant anything, gone as if it never was. And what is the General of the Tundra, without a Tundra? The silent protector of the Falls, without a Falls? It has taken me most of these years just to get my feet underneath me again. By the time I had sorted out my own family, there were no Kingdoms left to claim for the Brotherhood. I tried to serve Nayl here in Nerine, but it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I was never meant to be an Amazon, just to admire the lot of you from afar,” a gentle chuckle here, forcing lightness into what might otherwise just be the most depressing conversation ever. “I went back to being homeless, but that suited me even less. I’ve settled in Ischia, finally, and it’s growing on me, but it’s not right either.”
Nothing is right, in a world without the Brotherhood.
hold me in this wild, wild world
and in your heat I feel how cold it can get
and in your heat I feel how cold it can get
BRENNEN
ooc; here's 700-something words of brennen angst for you. #sorrynotsorry