when i walk inside the party - girls on me
So things hadn’t gone that great after he’d come home, but everything before that had been sooooo damn goooood. That girl was fantastic, and he hoped he’d see her again. Probably not supposed to want that, but damn, she was so much fun. Mmm, and the way her body moved, that sexy sway in her hips. She’d wanted him bad, hadn’t she? He’d wanted her too. Just wasn’t the right time or something, you know? Wasn’t quite right, something was missing, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have a hell of a good time. Just hadn’t been as far as his dad had probably thought it would be.
Sure as hell didn’t stop him from strutting right on up when his dad called him, giving a good high-steppin’ piaffe with his hair bouncing and wings lifted away from his sides just a little, showin’ what he got and proud of it. Umbra had liked when they’d raised their feathers away from their sides, and he definitely had too. Was a bit different for those with wings maybe. A bit like wearing clothes when everyone else goes shirtless, a bit more of a treat to see the naked skin beneath. And he sure did love undressing her, brushing his lips along the places that maybe didn’t get touched so much, hidden and shielded by wings.
Mmm, yeah they’d had some fun. A real good time. He’d do it again in a heartbeat.
He flashed a wide grin to his dad, tossing his hair from his face and laying those grey eyes to grey. ”She was fuckin’ hot, huh?” he beamed, that same excitement back in his eyes. Shame she wasn’t here again already. He just had to be sure not to think about when he came home afterwards. Definitely don’t think about how he’d messed up again so badly. Just think of Umbra.
His smile stuck in place for a moment, his eyes dying out just a bit as a ton of guilt washed into him again. Guilty for hurting Kylin like that, though she still didn’t know of it. Guilty for kissing her again after Dad told him not to. Even just the thought of it made his heart race. But Dad bumped his shoulder then, and his smile brightened again. Because it was probably okay, really. Like, a goodbye kiss or something. No big deal. Wouldn’t happen again, right? So no big deal. It was nothing.
”She was soooo much fun,” he said with emphasis when Dad asked him for details. Umbra had been… definitely a night to do again sometime, yeah. Most definitely. The sooner, the better. ”A hot girl with wings - that was really, really sexy. God, so good. And that body. Did you see her? She was so into me,” he added, needing his dad’s approval. Needing to have finally done something right this time. ”We -” he blushed, ”I mean, we - you know. We did some things. And it felt really good. So good.” He trailed off a little, his eyes falling away without really meaning to and his heart sinking a little with it. He was quieter when he spoke again, afraid he’d disappoint his dad, but not wanting to hide it.
”But I, uh. I couldn’t… you know. Do everything. Or whatever.” He shook his head and avoided Dad’s eyes. How was he supposed to admit that it was a nice distraction, but it hadn’t really changed him? He still wanted the one he wasn’t supposed to. And he hated that it was a bad thing. What would Dad do if he found out he’d kissed her again? Really kissed her. And wanted more. Are you sure it’s really such a bad thing, Dad? he asked so softly, silently. He was hesitant to ask, afraid of the answer and the reaction, but he heavily lifted his heartsick eyes anyway, hopeful for a different answer this time. Was it really so bad? Was he really so wrong? How was he supposed to fix it?