» Innocence is always unsuspicious «
I couldn't have made it any more clear the last time I saw him. Explain yourself. I deserve that much I know I do. But I was just so mad, I could curse at him until his ears fell off. That would teach him right? Not having ears would surely make him learn a lesson. But of course I didn't really want that, I wanted him to show up and start speaking- to say something anything. I needed him to really. I was in this place- stuck really- where I couldn't move on and couldn't go back. I was so engulfed in myself that I didn't realize I was throwing my tantrum next to another.
He was tall, black, or maybe dark bay it is hard to tell with the sun bleaching everything it touched. He stood still as I fumed about, his eyes slightly wide as he tried to determine the source of my anger. But when he lifted his head to back away the motion caught my eye and I stopped in my path, eyes darting to him ”Look I mean no harm, at least to you. But you might not want to stick around… I can't promise you civility for long.” I pulled my face away from the dark stallion not wanting to continue conversation, I’d surely regret something I would say, so best to just not interact. I watched the clouds pass overhead and tried to calm as I waited, But then I heard it from behind me, his voice, Chem had finally shown up. ”Vessel” I don’t turn, just allow one ear to flick back a sign of recognition. And of course I saw him reach towards me. His lips a grew close and I allowed it, until he was close enough and I struck out. My right hind lifting high and then jutted out like a cannon. My hoof aimed at his shoulder. ”You lost that privilege Chem. Don’t think I’ll just melt like butter at your touch. I’m not some little girl anymore.” Venom, my words felt like venom, though given Chem’s refusal to show up I doubted he would notice. I sigh heavily. Not sure If I want to rip into him more or just let it all go. Sure I was so very furious but it had been so exhausting holding all the animosity in.
I let Chem settle in next to me, his large black and white body looming over my right side. I had finished growing now really an average height for my mixed lines 15 odd hands and my frame had filled out after the birth of our son. I really wasn’t some little filly any more. But the sigh ended and a silence grew between us, not comfortable… but not so terribly awkward that I felt I had to fill it. But maybe he would. Maybe he would speak. But in that moment he didn’t, he just stood there. I didn’t look at him. I don’t know why, I should have, I should have drilled my one dark eyes into his teal stained irises. Made him feel the depths of my emotion make him feel gravity of his actions, the size of the hole he left in her heart. ” What happened Chem? You missed it… you missed our, your son. Do you even know his name?” I looked up at him them searching for something, anything. I knew he couldn’t know the boy’s name, I hadn’t known it when he was born, It was until after that I decided. And by then Chem was gone, I tried to wait to name him so Chem and I could decide together but that was no good, as Chem didn’t come. So I had to name him without his sire’s input. I couldn’t sulk, I had to be strong because there wasn’t anyone to have my back. So I held his eyes, my voice soft but not meek; There was a layer of vulnerability in the admittance that came forth. Her tone unwavering in its truth, as if saying it allowed to him had released a weight she carried for years, ”You broke your Promise, Chem.” My voice fell heavily into the space, it sat there as it filled the space and lingered holding everything still. My eyes still held his, and my breath was held deep in my chest, though I was not aware i was holding it so tightly.
Mentally it was refreshing to say it to Chem, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous. I was so aware of how he stood, of how he looked, any and changes from when I last saw him. From the moment I first realized he was back I knew there was something unsettled in my soul. THe feeling lingered buried deep in my heart. It thumped wildly against my ribs as I waited for Chem to say anything. I have never wished for Telepathy or Empathy more than I did now, for his teal eyes were only so telling in their expressions. Wait. I had to tell myself to wait, to give him a moment to explain. THe benefit of the doubt. Though my pride tells me he doesn’t deserve that, my heart (which always won out) said otherwise. So in those finite moments I wait, forced to over analyse the way his eyes flicked, or the way he breathed next to me. The effect he still had on me, even through the anger and the nerves.
Vessel
Kimber x Nymphetamine
ooc: i'm so glad you are back <3