For Ledger

[Achlyss]

achlyss

I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

Her head jerks towards him, her body swaying sideways in the water so she could see the threat that lingered just to the side and behind her. Her heart thuds in her chest as adrenaline surges through her blood, even as she sees that it’s not Him. He was dead. He couldn’t hurt her anymore or make her hurt others. It was the thoughts that lingered, the memories that made her so jumpy. When her mind finally processes the words and then the tone of the voice, she manages a shaky smile.

“I’m sorry,” Her eyes focusing on the point of his shoulder, “You startled me.” She makes her way out of the water, it was cold enough now that she didn’t want to stay in it anymore. Her eyes still don’t quite meet his. “Yes, I’m okay.” But they did travel the line of his body, noting all the ways his bones jutted from his body.

“But are you?” She darts a look up at his face, her mouth opening in a soft gasp before her eyes slide away again. “I’m sorry.” Always sorry. “I haven’t seen scars like yours before.” Her mind already thinking of the ways that he might take offense to her words. She didn’t want the sharp reminders to behave, to only say the good things. She had her own scars, hidden amongst the thick fur of her coat, but they were few. He had died before He could inflict too much damage.

Her hooves shuffling a bit, taking her back a small half step as she nervously tried to think quicker. ”Don’t run.” Momma’s voice in her ear as they both stood, nervously waiting for Him. They didn’t try to hide, that only lead to more pain for Momma. “Running makes Him want to chase.” Momma had said it softly, so softly, that she had barely heard her. And so, with that memory, Lyss stilled, her eyes ducked away from his.