Bound for trouble from the start
I've been walking through this old world in the dark
The gates of Heaven. They always beckon him home. And he would answer the call, eventually. Where else could he possibly go? However there was one other stop along the way. He doesn’t know why, he never knows why. Like a moth to a flame. The Heavens burn but the Meadow was like a lighthouse, calling him to safely land and gather himself. His lanky golden body moved slowly towards the familiar open grounds. A land full of haunted memories. One of a girl made of glass. The other of a painful reunion which still burns him with shame. Shame of his cowardice.
Magnus had offered to help him. After being tortured at the hands of Carnage, he had been unable to cope. And as much as he had wanted his father’s help, he would not once again be a burden to him. How he stayed alive was a mystery. The infection that had ravaged his body had slowly dissipated and now the eye that had been torn from it’s right socket was simply a blackened sunken hollow. The left eye was still flecked with gold, a small glint that might make one remember a very different stallion. One stronger and braver than he. The open wounds had healed, ugly scars across his body that would never fade. And the mended constellation burned on his flank, the cruel reminder of what he was now. As if he could ever forget.
He had been a broken man when they had set off to the Chamber in search of Atrox. Somehow they had been separated but the truth was that he had left. He was afraid of what he had become and what he might yet still do. All that time that had passed.. It had not healed him. His body had repaired of course but emotionally he was twisted and gutted. And then there was the “gift” Carnage had blessed him with.
It had taken years alone to control the beast within and for the most part he could keep the shifting under control. He was no longer clumsy in another species body, he could think clearly and mind his own thoughts. It was only when his emotions betrayed him that the cage broke open and the bear was released, a volatile and unpredictable thing. He had hoped that the anger and guilt that constantly surged through him would have faded. Out of everything it was the hardest to master. Yet a man can only be beaten down so many times before snapping.
Ledger had finally snapped.
If only he had known that Magnus would have understood. A family curse almost. That inner wrath and self loathing. Maybe then he would have stopped blaming himself. Then again maybe not, for he had been blaming himself for life’s cruelties since the day he had been born. Who would he be without a cross to bare?
His one good eye surveys the scene through tangled creamy tendrils. The afternoon sun was lowering in the sky hinting of the dusk to come. The presence of many bodies before him, milling about and talking gently, is almost soothing. It’s familiar. A thing that’s never changed and would continue long after he was gone. His lips curl faintly into a hint of a smile. No matter the turmoil inside him, the devil and god raging, it was hard not to feel fondness for a place he had secretly missed. It was always good to come home.
Ledger