As soon as he stepped into the darkness, she was there. She showered him with feather-light kisses, grazing his face and his neck, his chest, with a mouth so impossibly soft. He closed his eyes and caught his breath with a hitch, standing still under her sweet attention, soaking in every last sensation like little splashes of cool water each time her lips met his blistering-hot skin. It was his choice to stand there and accept whatever she did to him, and yet he felt helpless. Immobile.
He sensed her shift a little and opened his eyes to see her studying him. He stared back. The deep affection in her gaze pinched his heart painfully, wishing he could always see her care for him that way. Or more. Wishing for the impossible.
She slowly turned metallic before his eyes as he studied her, a coating of pale light glimmering across her skin like reflections on a gilded statue. It mirrored in the deep, black of his eyes, danced across the infinite adoration staring back at her as he drank in every detail. He barely breathed, afraid to break this spell that made her glow this way. Like an angel, or a star. All that soft light forming to every inch and curve of her body held him captivated, and he couldn't help but wonder if it had a taste. If he kissed her light, would it tingle across his lips and tongue? Would it be warm and smooth? Or was it only an illusion, completely intangible? But he didn’t try, remained still. He didn’t know what she wanted, so he let her control it all.
You're so beautiful, Luster, he breathed in quiet disbelief, the subtle awe in his eyes eventually -finally- returning to her deep gaze. He could fall into those eyes and lose himself completely, be stripped of everything that he was and not give a damn. Drown me. Redefine me, recreate me.
Take me.
She kissed him then, soft and gentle. He leaned carefully into it, restraining himself as a flow of warmth spread from his heart and through his chest. It continued, a slow flood of magma through his shoulders and up his neck, so gradually burning hotter that he didn't notice until it was searing him from the inside. His heart raced, but he forced his breath to come evenly, counting through each inhale and exhale like a vampire trying to fake his breathing.
Their lips lingered, parted and ready for more. He shouldn't have kissed her that first time. They couldn't seem to stop now.
He felt her sigh flutter across his mouth before they slowly pulled back from each other. "I think my heart knew you even if I didn't," she whispered. Molten, black eyes searched her face, burning for her. He felt those words sink into him, thrumming through his bones with a vibration of truth. He thought he might have understood what she meant. This... tie, this bond, this emotion. It didn't seem to have a name, but maybe those words were close enough.
"That first night, I mean, when I asked you to stay. Why didn't you?" He inhaled sharply and glanced away, feeling it like a spear of ice to his chest. His head shook just slightly with a painful swallow. He hated thinking of that day, hated how it tore through him like shards of glass, reopening wounds he might never heal from. Wounds he'd put there, on them both.
He'd hurt her that day, bit into her neck and ripped her flesh away for no more reason than he was riding his rage and felt like it. Without remorse, he'd stayed to taunt her, mock her with his lover's affection and tried to coax her to feel something for his touch.
His gaze slid to his claim on her neck, keeping his face carefully blank as he let the painful memory pass through him. Then his eyes lifted to hers, steely regret glinting in the blackness. He could never make it right. He could never fix it. He could never make up for what he did.
And he couldn't answer her question.
Why had he left her when his intention had been to make her suffer so sweetly? To stir her senses and take her beneath him. She'd woken him up somehow, snapped him out of his rage and reminded him of all the pain and destruction he brings. All the people he hurt and how he had been hurting her too. She'd made him feel again.
Would she always be able to wake him from his darkness?
That was the worst part. Knowing it could happen again. He would do it again when the rage roared to life inside him. So quickly, it could ignite and take over. He'd never been that way with Cerva around. The rage, yes, but not the way it had manifested towards Luster. Towards others, too.
She glanced away from his lengthy silence, lost in his thoughts. He almost didn't hear her next words, but he did. They burned through him and made his heart beat faster, his gaze sharpened. "What if I was meant to be yours?" Did she know what she was saying? Did she mean it? Could she have any idea how that would affect him? His blood crashed and thundered through him and he couldn't take his eyes from her. He didn't know how to answer her, couldn't seem to hold a thought long enough before it morphed into another, and another.
So he stepped closer instead, brushed his lips across her cheek then stared deep into her eyes. I'd do anything for you, Luster, he vowed in a whisper, lighting a kiss to her brow before pressing his forehead to hers and closing his eyes over the swell of emotion expanding his chest. Anything.
She softened and slid to his chest again. His head bent over her in a gentle embrace, as though she were fragile and precious. He held her as she tasted more of him, spiking his pulse again and making it hard to breathe. But he remained controlled, let her lead them wherever she wished even as the back-and-forth confused the hell out of him. It didn't matter. Whatever she wanted was his to give. Space, walls, kisses. It was all hers, no matter what it did to him. All that mattered was her and she would guide them.
She was everything.
Her lips lifted to his mouth again, to the spot of night-blue in the corner. "How long can I stay here with you, Dovev?" she asked, quiet and still. His head bent, a slow sweep of kisses along her neck. But she was supposed to lead this, and he reined back, reluctant but calm.
For as long as you like, love.
Stay forever.
Couldn't stop if I tried, hard to fight my design
This body was built to love you
