"Nor do yours," she commented back. He scoffed quietly, amused that she'd even bother trying to say so. His appearance most definitely made him far less beautiful, less attractive than he once was. He supposed she couldn't know that, though. She couldn't possibly imagine how thick and strong and handsome he'd been before the magic was pushed into him. She probably thought he was born this way.
But he wasn't sure Cerva could have loved him if he had been.
Maybe that was why he'd lost her. Why she'd left and disappeared.
No.. He'd abandoned her. That was why. He'd failed her.
As though she could sense the sudden heaviness of his faithless heart, she leaned further into him. His eyes drifted closed as he pressed firmly back, curled his neck behind hers and held her tighter. Embracing her was both comforting and painful, so painful. He wouldn't touch anyone this way if he still had Cerva. This could only happen because he didn't have her anymore. He never would.
He didn't look up as she let go of him, black eyes firmly on the ground at his feet as though they had also gone as weighty as his heart. He hated realizing how lonely he was. It was understandable, he supposed. He'd gone from being someone's absolutely-everything, to being absolutely nothing to anyone. Yeah, he should definitely leave. Go back home and lose himself in his training where there was no room for such pathetic, hopeless thoughts. Self-pity was definitely a new one for him. Self-hate, not so much.
"Maybe we'll meet again, in time." He nodded silently. Yeah, maybe. "My offer still stands... If you ever decide you need a friend." His empty gaze finally lifted with a hollow sort of smirk. But he still said nothing in response. Instead, he stared into her bright, golden eyes as he reached slowly to lay a soft kiss to her cheek. Then, without a word, he turned away. To head home. To training. To forget everything.
But maybe he would remember her this time.
Its alright, you'll be fine baby, I'm in control
Take the pain, Take the pleasure. I'm the master of both
so it might've already ended but apparently he couldn't help himself and had to write anyway. :|
