Circinae;

[Circinae]

oh, my love, don't forsake me. take what the water gave me ..

It was a pointless conversation, the one they were having. A road that forked one hundred times yet led essentially to nowhere. He wants to know why she’s upset, wants to act confused about his actions as of late and Circinae can see that he’s still put that arms length of protection between himself and her. She sighs, finding it hard to care that he was burrowing deeper inside of himself and keeping others from seeing in. It only reminds her that she’d probably never truly known him anyways. He’d been someone she’d met long ago, who just so happened to come across her that day in the field, and like a child she’d trusted him, opened herself up to him, fallen into those eyes and began to feel affection for him when she should have been equally as cold instead. “Jinju felt the need to apologize to me.” She sighs, slowly releasing the anger she’d been holding in for so long now.

“She thought perhaps we were getting too close, I think.” The dark mare murmurs, slipping out from beneath the shadow of her tree to face him in the dull light of the night’s twinkling ceiling. “I thought we were too,” She muses, a half-smile pulling her weary lips upwards, “especially when we came together on nights like this.”

Her smile can’t betray the hint of sadness that echoes in her voice. Soothing, low, but ebbed in disappointment. “The way you acted at our last gathering, the way you lashed out at Heda, even the way you denied my affection when you called for me - you called for me Ruan …” Circy emphasizes, her voice hitching ever so slightly as her heart stumbles inside of her chest, “... it all seemed to cast you in a different light. At least to me.”

She stops, finding that she cannot meet his gaze or hold his interest. For once, her wolf is silent. The truth will break them, she knows, and it lodges in her throat like a great stone, but it’s what he deserves. What she needs to expel from herself. “I fell in love with you. With the parts of you that seemed so wild and untamed and the parts that seemed so sorrowful and hidden. I pictured myself your equal, fancied that I had awoken something in you, too.” She admits, turning then to let her eyes sink into his.

“But I was wrong.” Circinae concludes, remembering the white wolf that had led her and Terra in the hunt. “I’ll never be Reagan and I’ll never have you, so I should stop acting upset that you don’t understand.”

Circinae