There was more to this.
The words wouldn't stop repeating, and he hated them. He'd be busy, not even thinking of her. Then there they were again. There was more to this.
No. There fucking wasn't.
There couldn't be.
He didn't want there to be.
He'd said goodbye that day. Given Diz a hurried, hungry last kiss and walked away. Or tried to. Wasn't goddamned good enough for her, of course. Pulled him back in for another delicious go, won him over all over again with the taste of her, that look in her eyes he still couldn't get out of his head, her breath against his skin, her desperate moans and aching body. Who the fuck was he to say no? The first time had been amazing. The second time, fantastic. This was nothing like what they normally did, and it was so damn addicting. So unexpected.
Dangerous.
Catastrophic.
So of course he ran like hell as she slept, got the hell out of there. Obviously, they couldn't do that again. They'd laid themselves as bare and naked as they could, each with someone else in their hearts. She had Zoryn, could only love Zoryn. And he was still so hung up on Leliana. Sweet Leliana. Their time together was just a lie, wasn't it? Just a really incredible lie that felt so terrifyingly real.
No, it wasn't real.
But even as he thought it, he knew he'd have to be sure. He couldn't give himself fully if he wasn't sure. He had to see her again, just once. Just to see that it was only a crazy moment, a fatal lapse in judgement. Because he hated her, after all, didn't he. Fucking Diz. And she hated him too. Certainly after that, she must. That would be a good thing. A good thing. They should just hate each other and return to normal. They did hate each other. He just had to see, that was all. Needed to confirm.
And then he saw her. Rounded and pregnant -and still beautiful. That should matter, somehow. His eyes locked with hers and he kept walking, straight for her. He should wonder if it was his -no, of course it was Zor's. He should wonder if she wanted, expected anything from him, help raise it or something. No, but it was Zor's, of course. He should consider if she hated him, didn't want him anywhere near her, wanted him to stay the hell away. He should stop. He should think.
But he didn't.
He went straight to her and caught her mouth with his, crushed hungry, passionate kisses between them, suddenly so aching and desperate. How long had it been now? How long had this festered in his mind? And then he slowed, gradually eased into the deep and tender she'd known so briefly as he stepped closer, felt her body heat in the small space between their skin. Finally, he carefully broke away, his breath short with his face held so near hers.
You always were such a damn distraction, he said quietly, brushing lightly against her beautiful face, the corner of his mouth sweeping against the corner of hers, his teeth barely grazing against the soft velvet of her. His stupid heart pounded so hard, and he lifted deep, black eyes to hers once again, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. She was consuming; stole her way into his thoughts when he least expected it. Inserted herself in his life without even being there now.
Now you're just fucking distracting.
I'll take my bow, I won't make a sound
I whisper truce as the ashes hit the ground
