03-19-2017, 12:49 AM
our demons are all around us and they don't come from hell
every single one of them reminds us of ourselves
every single one of them reminds us of ourselves
She had always been intrigued by his darkness, his intelligence, by the things that ran underneath his skin. She knew that there was more to him than meet the eye—more than he portrayed. He was not just the devil that you first saw when you met the red Chamber King. Throughout the years they had known one another, she had come to recognize him as vengeful, sly, calculating, but also deeply loyal, kind, and even compassionate. The more she had gotten to know Rodrik, the more layers she had unpeeled and the more she was able to get to know him, to understand him, to unwrap everything that made him who he was.
Now, wrapped up within him, it was a different challenge: getting to know herself.
She knew herself as an Amazon, a warrior, and a bloodrider. She even knew herself as a Queen. What she didn’t know was herself as a lover—as a mother. It was new to her and she felt as awkward as she had when she had first stepped onto the battlefield, her own body a weapon that she didn’t know how to wield. That same discomfort lay in her bones now, at war with the heart that beat in her chest, this passion for him that she didn’t know how to express or control, this new love for a child she had never even met.
Still, she gave into some of her base desires, reaching over to touch him gently, her lips roaming over the curve of his powerful neck, the heaviness of his jaw. It was all familiar to her and yet constantly new; as if she could spend every day by his side, curled here, without fully knowing him, without uncovering all there was to uncover. The laugh that he pulls from her is new, dark and sooty, and she lets it ring from her scarred mouth, pressing her forehead into his neck. “I would make a terrible broodmare.”
But then, a small smile.
“Although, I do not mind bearing your sons and daughters.”
She hadn’t desired to have a large family, to carry children every season, but there was something about holding life in her belly, knowing it was made from their love…it brought a softness to her. Enough of a softness that she doesn’t spend too long thinking about the land and his answer to the questions. She trusts him and his judgement. “I suppose I can get used to the smell,” she smirks a little, but then falls silent.