She healed them. Of course she did, she would always heal them. Anyone. Everyone.
Leliana's talk of loving him hurt so deeply. He didn't deserve her. He knew it, she had to know it too. She must. And then Heartfire only making it worse, as was her way. "It was not your love I was speaking of, Leliana." If nobody wanted him to be with her, why did they continue to come after her to get at him? Why did they continue to use her as a weapon against him? They were the ones hurting her, using her this way. Of course he would come, he would always come to protect her. Always.
"You cannot tell me to 'get the fuck out of here.' Though I'd certainly love to see you try." Disembodied and then gradually more present as his master, owner, mentor appeared.
Ah, fuck.
He forced his head to bow stiffly, his teeth clenched tight and shoulders pinched. It wasn't long before Ashley was pushing him out of the way, inserting himself next to Leliana where Dovev belonged, and for a moment he fought against it, shoved back, his eyes blazing and raising to challenge him. But, he was of course, the magician's subordinate, and with a furious glance from him to Leliana, he finally relented and stepped heavily, reluctantly aside.
Ashley watched him as he crooned to Leli, his mouth uncomfortably close to her and stoking the rage in Dovev to beat wildly against its cage. His body trembled under the pressure, desperately holding himself in place even as his heart singed and burned and screamed to watch him be so intimate with her. Ashley was pushing him, mocking him. Dovev was worthless. Dovev was nothing.
Yeah, loud and clear.
"You don't deserve her. But for whatever reason, her love for you is unconditional. And it will kill her."
Fantastic. More blades driven into him, twisted and jerked to cause him the most pain. Nothing would ever be enough. It didn't matter that a past he couldn't remember, was no longer a part of, came and harmed her first. It didn't matter that it was out of his control, that he tried to protect her. It didn't matter that he tried to right it when he could, only to have more unexpected pain thrust on the both of them as his own child drove a wedge between them and a stake in his heart.
It never mattered that he'd never wanted any of this. That he'd never wanted anything to ever harm her.
He didn't matter. Nothing he did mattered, nothing he said mattered.
"He's right, you don't deserve her. I will leave, but you must leave too." Yeah, he gets it. He is horrible, worthless, and he doesn't deserve her. He is nothing.
Nothing.
His eyes flickered to her as she spoke, then to Ashley, then down. The muscle in his jaw twitched. He hated to be lowered so much that she believed she could order him about as though he were her dirty slave to command and not the intensely-trained soldier that belonged to the formidable magician. He was not the bootlicker he'd first begun as, he was a lethal weapon and if commanded, he would kill anyone without hesitation, without question. Ashley was all-knowing, he would not lead him astray.
He just wouldn't respect him either.
He was nothing.
I'll take my bow, I won't make a sound
I whisper truce as the ashes hit the ground
