"Yes," Leli pleaded her, stabbing his heart, making him wince, "Show me. I need to know." God, but it didn't stop her from touching him back, and he hated the pointless flare of hope that billowed to life in him. He hated hoping. He could never be good enough, not for her. That hope warmed him, but cut him so deeply. Hope was pain. He was pain.
He lunged for her, this threat; he'd do anything to keep Leliana safe. He was trained to.
To protect. By any means necessary.
Kill swiftly.
She pinned her ears and met him head on with a clash of teeth and muscle. He took wounds he didn't yet feel, would feel later, blood pooling at his shoulder. But she danced away, circled Leliana to safety. He growled and stilled, hard eyes locked on her in caged fury, pressing himself instead against Leli where she had stumbled to the side. I'm here, always here.
"I am not my sister Dovev, that you can strike at without fear of retaliation. I am not kind, and I do not forgive and forget."
This much meant nothing to him. He has attacked countless people, harmed, killed, or maimed. He couldn't be expected to know who was family to who. Or give a damn.
Normally, he would follow her, put himself between them, but physical attack wasn't her style. She could harm without even moving. And she did then. She stole his sight again, forced new visions across his blinded eyes.
He tensed, nosing his way to Leli's hip, letting her scent, the feel of her, ground him to this reality. Let her steady him.
Then he gasped, the images playing so clearly, so painfully clear. No.. no, he pleaded in a mournful groan, watching a love unfold, so different yet so similar to his. Stop. Don't do this. He prayed Leliana wasn't being shown these same things as tears slipped out of unseeing eyes to soak into her coat. God, don't let Leli see this, don't let her see a love that can change and be better. Don't let her feel the bitter pain of hope.
He will never be good enough.
She was so amazing.
And he was him.
And finally she released his eyes. "If you truly feel love, fight for it. It is not for the weak of heart. Otherwise, at least love enough to let go." He blinked away the remaining fog, leveling a sharp glare on her that lacked the heat, the rage buried beneath so much anguish. Get the fuck out of here, he snarled. He wasn't above killing her, even with Leliana watching. If it would promise her safety, he'd do it. He'd do anything.
He edged closer to Leliana, passing her shoulder, her neck, his heart thundering in fierce anxiety. Cautiously, hesitantly, he reached for her, tried to sweep tenderly across her cheek. Are you ok, Leliana? he whispered, his voice strained, brows pinched tightly together and tears still falling freely. God, if she wasn't ok this witch was dead in a countdown of ten, he swore it.
I'll take my bow, I won't make a sound
I whisper truce as the ashes hit the ground
