01-29-2017, 11:16 AM
His strength seemed to have the opposite effect on her and she withdrew further. Dismay pinched his brows. Of course he would make everything worse by trying to make them better. She curled tighter into herself and it called him to come closer and touch her, but he was still afraid to. Afraid she would reject his touch more than she had the sight of him. It would crush him.
Atrani's voice slipped in as she came nearer, and he found himself drawn to the sound and reaching to pull her against him again. Father. And mother. They were a family. Hadn't Cerva always wanted a family? Here he had given it to her. How could she turn away from them?
Then it settled into his bones, what she said. Who is he, father? His world expanded again to take in Zoryn as though he hadn't been standing there the whole time. And who is the other girl? His head almost turned to the forest, another addition entering his mind, but it stopped at Zoryn and froze. He bared his teeth and snarled at him. This was his fault. He should have came for him sooner! The accusation was close to escaping, but he held it in check. Because if he had come sooner, he may never have known Leliana.
The name, the image, was painful. And he forced it out again.
He should have came for him sooner.
He attacked me, he answered her calmly, staring hard at Zoryn. Do not mess this up for me! I will deal with you later. His chin jerked roughly and he gestured for Zor to leave. He was just leaving. And there is no other, just a stranger, he said, turning back to her. His chest tightened at his own words and he couldn't breathe. His breath froze to ice in his lungs and he could do nothing but tug her close again and gently groom her little mane. Always pulling her back in.
Cerva stirred enough to accuse him for leaving, for letting go. "How can I believe you now?" She tried to rise to her feet and he nearly jumped to help her. Her body may have been weakened but she was strong, and he would not take that from her. He forced himself to hold still, and he succeeded until she stumbled and forced him a step closer. No, she can do this. She is strong.
"How do I know that this isn't a lie?"
He shook his head again, his eyes pleading but his voice firm.
I did it for us, Cerva. For you. I wanted to be better for you. I needed to be better for you.
She glanced to Zoryn a moment, then returned to him. A flare of rage roared to life as his own eyes shot to the man. Why does she look at you! You better not have touched her! For a moment, his gaze slid to his daughter. His daughter, right? She shared similar color to her mother, but her white pattern could be from either Dovev or Zoryn. No, no. She was his, of course. His and Cerva's child. His daughter. His.
"You will leave me again for her, for him.
I was never enough for you, just like I was never enough for anyone else."
No! That's not true! All the tension suddenly drained from him and he could stand the distance no more. He stepped carefully to her, black muzzle pressed against her smooth neck as he breathed her in -finally breathed her in. Oh god the smell of her, like a dark and warm den of foxes cradled so close to each other. It drew him further into her and his mouth passed tentatively over the graceful curve of muscle, experimentally. Admiring her; the shape, the look, the feel of her. Hoping she would tolerate his touch as she once had, as she had once craved it as eagerly as he for hers. Hungered for each other. But he would not hope for that. She may never truly care for him again, and it sank chill and solid in his heart.
There is no other, Cerva, he whispered into her skin. There is only you. I did it all for you.
It will always be you.
Atrani's voice slipped in as she came nearer, and he found himself drawn to the sound and reaching to pull her against him again. Father. And mother. They were a family. Hadn't Cerva always wanted a family? Here he had given it to her. How could she turn away from them?
Then it settled into his bones, what she said. Who is he, father? His world expanded again to take in Zoryn as though he hadn't been standing there the whole time. And who is the other girl? His head almost turned to the forest, another addition entering his mind, but it stopped at Zoryn and froze. He bared his teeth and snarled at him. This was his fault. He should have came for him sooner! The accusation was close to escaping, but he held it in check. Because if he had come sooner, he may never have known Leliana.
The name, the image, was painful. And he forced it out again.
He should have came for him sooner.
He attacked me, he answered her calmly, staring hard at Zoryn. Do not mess this up for me! I will deal with you later. His chin jerked roughly and he gestured for Zor to leave. He was just leaving. And there is no other, just a stranger, he said, turning back to her. His chest tightened at his own words and he couldn't breathe. His breath froze to ice in his lungs and he could do nothing but tug her close again and gently groom her little mane. Always pulling her back in.
Cerva stirred enough to accuse him for leaving, for letting go. "How can I believe you now?" She tried to rise to her feet and he nearly jumped to help her. Her body may have been weakened but she was strong, and he would not take that from her. He forced himself to hold still, and he succeeded until she stumbled and forced him a step closer. No, she can do this. She is strong.
"How do I know that this isn't a lie?"
He shook his head again, his eyes pleading but his voice firm.
I did it for us, Cerva. For you. I wanted to be better for you. I needed to be better for you.
She glanced to Zoryn a moment, then returned to him. A flare of rage roared to life as his own eyes shot to the man. Why does she look at you! You better not have touched her! For a moment, his gaze slid to his daughter. His daughter, right? She shared similar color to her mother, but her white pattern could be from either Dovev or Zoryn. No, no. She was his, of course. His and Cerva's child. His daughter. His.
"You will leave me again for her, for him.
I was never enough for you, just like I was never enough for anyone else."
No! That's not true! All the tension suddenly drained from him and he could stand the distance no more. He stepped carefully to her, black muzzle pressed against her smooth neck as he breathed her in -finally breathed her in. Oh god the smell of her, like a dark and warm den of foxes cradled so close to each other. It drew him further into her and his mouth passed tentatively over the graceful curve of muscle, experimentally. Admiring her; the shape, the look, the feel of her. Hoping she would tolerate his touch as she once had, as she had once craved it as eagerly as he for hers. Hungered for each other. But he would not hope for that. She may never truly care for him again, and it sank chill and solid in his heart.
There is no other, Cerva, he whispered into her skin. There is only you. I did it all for you.
It will always be you.
