He shielded his torment from his black eyes, emotions threatening to rip him apart from the inside. Uncertainties and fears. Regrets. Look at her, she was still so beautiful, so perfect. Soft and brown and angelic. And he was...this. This terrible monster, hideous and gory and bleeding. He was unworthy and she would see it for herself now. He would lose her forever as he had surely lost Leliana.
Time dragged so achingly slow as she observed him, took in this new version of who had once been her whole life. Her eyes were so blank, so dead, and eventually she turned them away from him. He felt that cut deep into his soul, her rejection. It hadn't even taken her long at all to consider him. Even the loving memories they had together, all the affection and their sides nearly glued together with their constant closeness, it was not enough to overcome the disgust she must feel for who he was now.
His eyes fell to the ground in defeat. "No," she said flatly, cold and empty. Solid. He flinched as it drove her dagger further into him. "..just take your daughter and go." He started at that, finally broadening his straight-pin focus to take in a child. Their child. Brown, so lovely brown, like his Cerva. A perfect little creation from a time of possessive passion as he'd claimed more of her, finally all of her. Not a boy, but a man who needed her both at his side and beneath him. He'd given her this little person and left her. He never knew, never knew. He wanted to say it, beg her to understand, but he was silenced. And his broken eyes slid to the tiny face.
Her sunken eyes stared blankly at him, and he stepped backwards. Oh god, no wonder she hated him. Look at what he'd done. He couldn't even make a child. She hated him for him, and for his spawn. His head shook, and shook, his eyes growing bleary. No no no..
Cerva- his voice broke, and a solid lump in his throat silenced him. He was a curse, more than he had ever truly understood. He ruined everything, broke everything. Cerva was battered by him, even the sweet memories of their endless caresses wouldn't bring her back. She didn't want him near, how could she? Now she didn't even want the result of his hungry claim to her. His need for her.
His expression trembled and a tear fell openly down his sharp cheekbone as he reached for the girl, his throat closing painfully. He paused at her poll, drinking in her scent -his child, his little piece of Cerva. She was all he had now, it seemed. His little Cerva.
The tear fell silently into her crest as he gripped her neck, firmly but gently. He removed her from her mother, dragged her slowly to him so she could catch herself each time he forced her to stumble in the movement. Bony chin tucked her to his leg, black hair draping over her as he nudged her closer. He ignored any protests, didn't speak. What the hell was he going to do now. How would he manage to break her even more with his darkness.
What had he done..
Time dragged so achingly slow as she observed him, took in this new version of who had once been her whole life. Her eyes were so blank, so dead, and eventually she turned them away from him. He felt that cut deep into his soul, her rejection. It hadn't even taken her long at all to consider him. Even the loving memories they had together, all the affection and their sides nearly glued together with their constant closeness, it was not enough to overcome the disgust she must feel for who he was now.
His eyes fell to the ground in defeat. "No," she said flatly, cold and empty. Solid. He flinched as it drove her dagger further into him. "..just take your daughter and go." He started at that, finally broadening his straight-pin focus to take in a child. Their child. Brown, so lovely brown, like his Cerva. A perfect little creation from a time of possessive passion as he'd claimed more of her, finally all of her. Not a boy, but a man who needed her both at his side and beneath him. He'd given her this little person and left her. He never knew, never knew. He wanted to say it, beg her to understand, but he was silenced. And his broken eyes slid to the tiny face.
Her sunken eyes stared blankly at him, and he stepped backwards. Oh god, no wonder she hated him. Look at what he'd done. He couldn't even make a child. She hated him for him, and for his spawn. His head shook, and shook, his eyes growing bleary. No no no..
Cerva- his voice broke, and a solid lump in his throat silenced him. He was a curse, more than he had ever truly understood. He ruined everything, broke everything. Cerva was battered by him, even the sweet memories of their endless caresses wouldn't bring her back. She didn't want him near, how could she? Now she didn't even want the result of his hungry claim to her. His need for her.
His expression trembled and a tear fell openly down his sharp cheekbone as he reached for the girl, his throat closing painfully. He paused at her poll, drinking in her scent -his child, his little piece of Cerva. She was all he had now, it seemed. His little Cerva.
The tear fell silently into her crest as he gripped her neck, firmly but gently. He removed her from her mother, dragged her slowly to him so she could catch herself each time he forced her to stumble in the movement. Bony chin tucked her to his leg, black hair draping over her as he nudged her closer. He ignored any protests, didn't speak. What the hell was he going to do now. How would he manage to break her even more with his darkness.
What had he done..
abby said we could skip her and she'd get to zor when she can <3 she is sick
