Wallace
Lassie.
Lacey.
No!
Her pupils shrank and she lunged blindly for him. Her teeth only clipped air as she fell back weakly with a hard thump, closing her eyes to the dizziness that followed. But for that brief little moment, she'd had power again. She'd finally had control of her world. She was in control.
Then it slipped away.
She needed to feel it again.
His words went unheeded. She didn't care. Just leave me, but her voice wouldn't come; she could only swallow. And shortly thereafter, another joined to stare down at her sick mess. One white, one black. Her ears pinned back, but she refused to look at them, refused to answer them. She didn't want to be seen this way, but she was too weak to do anything about it. It was better that they were strangers, at least. They wouldn't know how strong she'd once been. How so very far she had fallen.
She swallowed a whimper and her eyes blurred with moisture.
"Move."
The command, so firm, startled her with a painful little jolt. She winced. But.. Oh no. Familiar. She was thrown into a wild whirlpool of conflicting emotions. A panic. He'd see her this way. He'd know. He'd hate her. He'd pity her. He'd know! No, don't let him see her this way. Ruined.
And also.. Relief. Home, safety. She wanted to curl into his lap and sob like the child she now resembled with her shorn hair, let him make it all better. Let him fix everything. He could, somehow. He'd make it all go away. Hide her away from the rest of the world, until she was better. If she would ever be ok again.
"Have they hurt you, Wallace?"
Gentle, but still firm. Different, changed, deeper.
She tried to twist to see him, but recoiled from the aches in her body and fell back to the soaked earth.
Sabrael? Her voice cracked, raw and raspy from.. screams. Screams he'd forced from her. Screams he'd coaxed from her so purposefully like a tender lover. Her face crumpled, eyes pinched shut tight and teeth clenched, trying to fend off the dark images assaulting her once again. Tears spilled freely now as a strained keening squeaked from her, clipped by a choked sob.
That was her biggest secret, her hardest truth. He'd known her body more intimately than she had, knew just what to do.
He'd made her want it.
Make it stop, she whispered, begged. She knew begging, now. She hated that she did it just then, but she couldn't possibly fall any farther than she already had.
Ruined.
Broken.
Please make it stop.. The pain, the memories. Wake her from this nightmare. Let it all be a horrible dream. She'd never go to the forest again, never taunt him with her barbed tongue.
Looking a little dull there, metal man. Bet a good dunk in the lake would fix that. Oh, or would you sink?
The perfectly wicked grin that answered.
That now burned permanently to the inside of her eyelids.
Make it stop.
