Emotions Are Our Own Hell; Exist

[exist]

while collecting the stars, I connected the dots.
I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not.

Exist can see how quickly her enthusiasm catches, how readily it buries itself beneath the skin of the buckskin girl with those beautiful blue wings. Somehow Heda knew, some part of her, somewhere deep and wild and raw, she knew the magic that lay trapped beneath Exist’s dark apricot flesh. It was hard to stand so close to the girl now, to ignore the cord in her chest that rippled and tugged and tethered her to Heda. But she holds fast anyway, ignoring the blossoming pain in her soul, the way it made her veins thrum with fire and her bones creak like branches bent too far.

She feels oddly impatient, and she isn’t sure where the feeling comes from because it isn’t one she feels very often. Perhaps it is the toll of the magic she holds knit tight beneath her breast, or the wildness that seems to flicker like static between them, born of instinct and intuition. It would be so easy to pour the magic into Heda, to share this weight with someone else. Instead she tilts her head at the girl, her eyes round and bright and kind. “You’re very welcome, Heda.”

Exists eyes are still tracing the hollows of Heda’s gold face when she notices the girls expression start to change. The smile fades a little, and the twinkle in those amber eyes flattens into a kind of quiet confusion. But even as Heda wilts with uncertainty, Exist blossoms. “I have.” She confirms with a gleam in the depths of her brilliant green eyes. “I believe I have something that belongs to you.” At this she can feel the magic thump in her chest, eager and impatient and desperate to be returned to the one it had been torn from. Exist steps closer, her body soft and fluid as she moved to curl around Heda until buckskin blended with apricot and copper melted into indigo.

“Would you like it back?” Her voice is just a whisper then, a ghost of sound pressed from dark lips to the curve of a burnished gold ear. But she doesn’t wait, she can’t wait, and at once the magic roars from her to bury itself within Heda, finding home and peace and solace in those hollow places it has once lived. When Exist’s eyes find Heda’s there is a note of remorse there, an apology for not waiting until the girl said yes.  Exist always meant to wait, meant to let them choose, but there was something about the wildness that consumed her, bent her to its will and, strangely, she did not mind. With a sigh of relief, just a quiet hum of unspoken words and breath held too long, Exist pressed her nose to Heda’s shoulder. “Be whole again, Heda.”

Exist

Omfg this is awful and I’m sorry but yay traits are restored at least! <3