10-28-2016, 10:06 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-29-2016, 07:04 AM by Arrya.
Edit Reason: Spacing again, wtf?
)
Whoops, apparently I did cross a bit of a line there. Princess tenses up a little as I clean his wound, but he doesn’t pull away. He lets me look him over and clean him up and whatnot, and it’s not til I’m about to pull away that he does a little personal space invading of his own and touches my face, a soft little not quite kiss that has me tensing up in turn, freezing in place and looking at him with wide eyes. Nah. Just a little thank you. Okay. Good. That’s fine then. I nod a wordless you’re welcome, and the weird little moment passes.
Contrary to popular belief, I am actually capable of not being a smartass sometimes. Just sometimes, mind. But it happens now and again. So when a detached calm takes over his face and he tells me his story, I watch and wait and listen. I know what it’s like to distance yourself from old pain, to put on a mask to give yourself a little breathing room from the hurt. So I don’t lend much credence to the bored tone or the disinterested, distant expression on his face as he tells me about his past. And I nod again when he suggests I call him Kade. Then I return one story for another.
“I’m Arrya. Just Arrya, no fancy titles or anything. I was born a Meadow rat, dumped like so much garbage the day I was born. A woman named Alik adopted me, and I spent the first two years of my life pretending to be less than I was so that she’d keep me. I looked pretty ordinary, see. Just this little bay nothing of a girl, not a speck of weird to be seen. She was of the belief that anyone with any kind of gift or ability was tainted by magic. And oh, the light loved me. Once upon a time, anyhow. The world’s changed a lot since then, but it used to be I could make the light dance.”
I look off into the distance, remembering, wishing I could still touch the magic that’s always been with me, until so very recently. I can almost feel it twirling around me, swirling against my skin, solid somehow and so responsive, fluttering and flickering and cheering up the darkness with its happy glow. But I can’t quite reach. With a sad little quirk of my lips, I go on.
“Well and I had wings, but they were sneakier than most, only showed up when I needed them. And I didn’t know about them yet. Finding out I had them was a hell of an adventure, let me tell you. Anyhow. Alik said she loved me, called me her daughter, treated me like her own. Until the day I confessed. She dropped me in a hot second, chased me away, left this scar on my face,” and I toss my head a little to indicate the crescent-shaped scar that swoops far too close to the inner edge of my left eye for comfort. Forms a little half-halo around it almost, a flailing hoof that caught me in the face and almost took out my eye, all because she couldn’t handle the truth of who I was. Who I still am.
“Anyhow. I’d met a couple of boys and sassed my way into their affection, fell for one of them the minute I saw him like a silly little sap. Stomped my way into his heart even though he was way out of my league. We had a couple of kids, thought we were forever, then he dropped me like I was nothing, the bastard. Loved the hell out of the other boy, who was my best friend from the minute he showed up to defend his buddy against a sketchy colt who was way bigger and stronger even though he was just about shaking with fear. Lost him because it broke his heart to see me with his best friend, and I was an oblivious idiot. The feelsy shit isn’t exactly a strong suit of mine, and he had to spell it the fuck out for me. Ran right to him when my ex left without a word, though. Well, no. When I found my ex with his kid by another woman. Then the whole world goddamn exploded, as I’m sure you know. Haven’t seen my kids or my ex since, no idea if they’re okay, but I found my Rhory again.”
I shrug, a sappy little smile playing at the corners of my mouth. “Nothing big or important. No destinies or purposes or callings or anything. Just a quiet little life, with love and heartache in equal measure. I’m starting to think, though, that sometimes the shitty parts happen to make room for the good ones. Maybe that’s naive,” I snort, not quite believing it even came out of my mouth. “But every time I’ve said goodbye, every time I’ve thought I fucked everything up or my life was just falling apart...really, really good things came after. Maybe I just need to tell myself that, so I’ve got something to hold onto when the hard parts come again, the way they always do.”
Another shrug, because it’s not my place to tell him what to feel or what to do. “I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time of it. But if you need someone to protect, find someone to protect. You’re not over just because your job is. It sucks. Failing hurts. Losing people is fucking devastating. But don’t throw yourself away because of it.” I wrinkle my nose, scrunching up my face at my own stupid words. “But what do I know? None of my damn business, right? It’s just, you seem like a decent guy is all, and there aren’t a ton of those around. Life fucking sucks sometimes. But you never know when it’s gonna turn around.” Ugh. I sound like a fucking cheerleader or something. One of those obnoxious, peppy twits who drive everybody crazy with their happy! upbeat! attitudes! I can’t help but roll my eyes at myself. “Sorry. Arrya. I’m Arrya, was where I was fucking going with that.”
Contrary to popular belief, I am actually capable of not being a smartass sometimes. Just sometimes, mind. But it happens now and again. So when a detached calm takes over his face and he tells me his story, I watch and wait and listen. I know what it’s like to distance yourself from old pain, to put on a mask to give yourself a little breathing room from the hurt. So I don’t lend much credence to the bored tone or the disinterested, distant expression on his face as he tells me about his past. And I nod again when he suggests I call him Kade. Then I return one story for another.
“I’m Arrya. Just Arrya, no fancy titles or anything. I was born a Meadow rat, dumped like so much garbage the day I was born. A woman named Alik adopted me, and I spent the first two years of my life pretending to be less than I was so that she’d keep me. I looked pretty ordinary, see. Just this little bay nothing of a girl, not a speck of weird to be seen. She was of the belief that anyone with any kind of gift or ability was tainted by magic. And oh, the light loved me. Once upon a time, anyhow. The world’s changed a lot since then, but it used to be I could make the light dance.”
I look off into the distance, remembering, wishing I could still touch the magic that’s always been with me, until so very recently. I can almost feel it twirling around me, swirling against my skin, solid somehow and so responsive, fluttering and flickering and cheering up the darkness with its happy glow. But I can’t quite reach. With a sad little quirk of my lips, I go on.
“Well and I had wings, but they were sneakier than most, only showed up when I needed them. And I didn’t know about them yet. Finding out I had them was a hell of an adventure, let me tell you. Anyhow. Alik said she loved me, called me her daughter, treated me like her own. Until the day I confessed. She dropped me in a hot second, chased me away, left this scar on my face,” and I toss my head a little to indicate the crescent-shaped scar that swoops far too close to the inner edge of my left eye for comfort. Forms a little half-halo around it almost, a flailing hoof that caught me in the face and almost took out my eye, all because she couldn’t handle the truth of who I was. Who I still am.
“Anyhow. I’d met a couple of boys and sassed my way into their affection, fell for one of them the minute I saw him like a silly little sap. Stomped my way into his heart even though he was way out of my league. We had a couple of kids, thought we were forever, then he dropped me like I was nothing, the bastard. Loved the hell out of the other boy, who was my best friend from the minute he showed up to defend his buddy against a sketchy colt who was way bigger and stronger even though he was just about shaking with fear. Lost him because it broke his heart to see me with his best friend, and I was an oblivious idiot. The feelsy shit isn’t exactly a strong suit of mine, and he had to spell it the fuck out for me. Ran right to him when my ex left without a word, though. Well, no. When I found my ex with his kid by another woman. Then the whole world goddamn exploded, as I’m sure you know. Haven’t seen my kids or my ex since, no idea if they’re okay, but I found my Rhory again.”
I shrug, a sappy little smile playing at the corners of my mouth. “Nothing big or important. No destinies or purposes or callings or anything. Just a quiet little life, with love and heartache in equal measure. I’m starting to think, though, that sometimes the shitty parts happen to make room for the good ones. Maybe that’s naive,” I snort, not quite believing it even came out of my mouth. “But every time I’ve said goodbye, every time I’ve thought I fucked everything up or my life was just falling apart...really, really good things came after. Maybe I just need to tell myself that, so I’ve got something to hold onto when the hard parts come again, the way they always do.”
Another shrug, because it’s not my place to tell him what to feel or what to do. “I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time of it. But if you need someone to protect, find someone to protect. You’re not over just because your job is. It sucks. Failing hurts. Losing people is fucking devastating. But don’t throw yourself away because of it.” I wrinkle my nose, scrunching up my face at my own stupid words. “But what do I know? None of my damn business, right? It’s just, you seem like a decent guy is all, and there aren’t a ton of those around. Life fucking sucks sometimes. But you never know when it’s gonna turn around.” Ugh. I sound like a fucking cheerleader or something. One of those obnoxious, peppy twits who drive everybody crazy with their happy! upbeat! attitudes! I can’t help but roll my eyes at myself. “Sorry. Arrya. I’m Arrya, was where I was fucking going with that.”