09-15-2016, 02:21 AM
Oh, Daddy wraps me up in the biggest hug ever, and I cling to him tighter than I can remember ever holding onto anyone in my whole life, my body heaving with the force of my relieved sobbing. And then the crying eases, and the tears slow, and it’s just me all snug and cozy against my daddy’s side, rubbing my face against his shoulder to dry the tears from my cheeks. And just because I want to, because it makes the hurting in my chest a little bit less, hiding my face against his skin.
But the moment can’t last forever. “Where were you?” he asks, and “What happened?” and the world comes crashing into our happy little reunion. I shake my head as he keeps talking, because of course I didn’t leave because I thought he was mad at me. That would’ve been pretty dumb, and also kind of cowardly. And I don’t think I’m either of those things, surely not enough to run away from the person who loves me most in the whole world.
The only person who loves me, really, except maybe my cuddly best friends. I think they might love me at least a little bit. But that’s not the same as having somebody to take care of you, and my heart already hurts that I can’t do what he asks of me. That I can’t follow him home to the land he begged of the world for us. That I can’t run around Taiga, exploring with my siblings, playing with them until the word feels true.
I take a deep breath, and pull back from him a step so I can look at his face when I tell him, “I can’t, Daddy. I would’ve followed you if I could, all the way to the end of forever, or at least to the home you fought so hard to get for us.” I smile a sad little smile, the corners of my lips curving upwards despite the heaviness of my heart. Another deep breath, and as I let it out, I stand up taller, raising my head in defiance of what I have to tell him. If I could see the mountain in the darkness I’d be glaring at it, but I can’t make it out in the moonless night.
“I can’t come home with you. Beqanna won’t let me in.” There’s no need to tell him the rest, about the way the fire hurts now, not when I can’t use it anyhow. That feels...it feels like mine, like a burden he doesn’t need to bear. But he needs to know that I didn’t leave him, that I didn’t run away or wander off or turn up my nose at what he worked so hard to earn for our family.
“I’m sure it’s beautiful, and I wish I could come see it and explore like you said, that sounds really nice. But I can’t. I’m sorry, Daddy.” Not for what I said to Beqanna to provoke the curse she laid on me. I’d say it all again, even knowing the cost. I’m only sorry that he’ll hurt too, that I’m not the only one who will suffer for my defiance. I’m glad at least that he can go home to the others, that my actions didn’t cost him and the rest of his family a safe place to call their own. Even if I never get to see it, I will still be happy for that much.
But the moment can’t last forever. “Where were you?” he asks, and “What happened?” and the world comes crashing into our happy little reunion. I shake my head as he keeps talking, because of course I didn’t leave because I thought he was mad at me. That would’ve been pretty dumb, and also kind of cowardly. And I don’t think I’m either of those things, surely not enough to run away from the person who loves me most in the whole world.
The only person who loves me, really, except maybe my cuddly best friends. I think they might love me at least a little bit. But that’s not the same as having somebody to take care of you, and my heart already hurts that I can’t do what he asks of me. That I can’t follow him home to the land he begged of the world for us. That I can’t run around Taiga, exploring with my siblings, playing with them until the word feels true.
I take a deep breath, and pull back from him a step so I can look at his face when I tell him, “I can’t, Daddy. I would’ve followed you if I could, all the way to the end of forever, or at least to the home you fought so hard to get for us.” I smile a sad little smile, the corners of my lips curving upwards despite the heaviness of my heart. Another deep breath, and as I let it out, I stand up taller, raising my head in defiance of what I have to tell him. If I could see the mountain in the darkness I’d be glaring at it, but I can’t make it out in the moonless night.
“I can’t come home with you. Beqanna won’t let me in.” There’s no need to tell him the rest, about the way the fire hurts now, not when I can’t use it anyhow. That feels...it feels like mine, like a burden he doesn’t need to bear. But he needs to know that I didn’t leave him, that I didn’t run away or wander off or turn up my nose at what he worked so hard to earn for our family.
“I’m sure it’s beautiful, and I wish I could come see it and explore like you said, that sounds really nice. But I can’t. I’m sorry, Daddy.” Not for what I said to Beqanna to provoke the curse she laid on me. I’d say it all again, even knowing the cost. I’m only sorry that he’ll hurt too, that I’m not the only one who will suffer for my defiance. I’m glad at least that he can go home to the others, that my actions didn’t cost him and the rest of his family a safe place to call their own. Even if I never get to see it, I will still be happy for that much.