[open] we were neurophobic and perfect

[Tioga]

You were automatic, as hollow as the 'o' in God.

It's winter in my heart or the icy air that greets me upon waking makes it so. There is really nothing else like watching the world fold in on itself. When it did I could do nothing but revel in the beauty and fear that it made me feel so very deep down in the marrow of my bones. The Gates, my home, was no more, it now lay cradled somewhere unobtainable, untouchable and I could only despair at the loss. One moment I had been content, surrounded with my siblings, my niece. The next we were all staring wide eyed and unable to make use of our bodies in the rumbling wake that shook the earth and took it too.

Now I am awake, staring blankly over the expanse of mountain side that I have been unceremoniously deposited on. It’s night now, cold and bitter- enough to match the feelings the rumble in my soul. The sky above, so beautiful in comparison the the heartache that has just befell us all and I look to my brother and sisters as they raise their heads to the sky. Stars, so many it seems, here the air is clear enough that I feel if I were just a bit taller I could reach them, Romilly seems to want the same and I can not begrudge her that hole which has yet to ever fill.

With a shake a rid myself of the groggy feeling that combs over my brain like a veil, coaxing me to sleep longer, to rest once more but I wont- I can’t. This world is new and I can taste the unbridled rawness in the air with each breath, I long to know it more intimately because it is all that is left to me now. Of all the things that have been taken from my life this perhaps is the one that causes me the most discomfort, the most on which to mourn but I can not simply wallow in sorrow. Mother would not have liked that, the others, well, they are old enough to decide their paths. It seems they will take refuge in the mountainside for a time and so I bid them goodbye. For now, because I would never leave them fully, I would be back to see them or they me and we all knew that was enough.

Below the forest remains, barren branches of trees clawing at the winter night, casting eerie shadows from pale moon beams. I do not balk at this, I have known danger and destruction and I am in a sense made of those very things. That all seems so trivial now, my parentage but it serves me nonetheless.

{TIOGA}

khaos x wichita

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