09-03-2016, 11:17 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-03-2016, 11:19 PM by Strangelet.
Edit Reason: because it helps if I actually put the post in the html...
)
The longer we’re apart, the more I miss...just everyone. My Noctem the most, of course, because he’s always been the closest to me. Being away from him, being completely unable to reach him, it feels like I’m missing limbs. And half my heart. Oh, but the rest too though. My mother, my sisters, my brothers...even the ones who have been gone for ages, for years, for decades.
It has almost helped some, meeting new people. But at the same time, it just highlights how very not-mine everyone is. God, but I wonder...I wonder if even they would feel mine anymore, now that I can’t feel them the same way, can’t read them or sense them or hear them in my head.
Maybe even my family would feel like strangers.
Well. One little thought, and I’m curled up on the ground, propped up against the trunk of a sturdy tree, and just collapsing into a well of sadness so deep it’s nearly drowning me. From one breath to the next, that was all it took. Everything has changed, my senses have changed so drastically, and I just...I just lean against the tree and close my eyes, fighting tears that are so desperate to fall I can feel them clawing at the insides of my eyelids.
Noctem?
But I can feel it hitting the edges of my mind and just echoing around inside, nothing but a thought. Completely contained, not reaching out and searching, connecting, touching familiar souls and minds and flooding me with warmth and love. Nothing but the empty echo of a dead end thought. With a sigh, I give into gravity and let my head droop, my shoulders slump, my ears flop dejectedly to the side. It’s not dark yet, but it’ll only be...a few hours ‘til nightfall. Maybe I’ll just stay here ‘til morning. I have nothing better to do, after all.
It has almost helped some, meeting new people. But at the same time, it just highlights how very not-mine everyone is. God, but I wonder...I wonder if even they would feel mine anymore, now that I can’t feel them the same way, can’t read them or sense them or hear them in my head.
Maybe even my family would feel like strangers.
Well. One little thought, and I’m curled up on the ground, propped up against the trunk of a sturdy tree, and just collapsing into a well of sadness so deep it’s nearly drowning me. From one breath to the next, that was all it took. Everything has changed, my senses have changed so drastically, and I just...I just lean against the tree and close my eyes, fighting tears that are so desperate to fall I can feel them clawing at the insides of my eyelids.
Noctem?
But I can feel it hitting the edges of my mind and just echoing around inside, nothing but a thought. Completely contained, not reaching out and searching, connecting, touching familiar souls and minds and flooding me with warmth and love. Nothing but the empty echo of a dead end thought. With a sigh, I give into gravity and let my head droop, my shoulders slump, my ears flop dejectedly to the side. It’s not dark yet, but it’ll only be...a few hours ‘til nightfall. Maybe I’ll just stay here ‘til morning. I have nothing better to do, after all.
@[Sahm]