you can't feel nothing small (open)

[magnus]

we carry these things inside that no one else can see
they hold us down like anchors; they drown us out at sea

He is not particularly surprised by her disinterest in the Gates. Years and years of recruiting meant that he was fairly good at getting a read on others; he knew when he found someone who would be fed by being in the Gates and when he had found someone who would be bored. The kingdom could nourish or starve, depending on your nature, and he had never been interested in forcing the wrong fit.

So there is no ill will when she declines. Instead he just laughs, the sound rich and smoky in his throat. “I can understand that.” And he could. When he had first arrived at the Gates, he had never thought that he would make it his home. It was too quiet. Too peaceful. It lacked the cries of the brightly plumaged birds of his homeland or the pine-scented mischievous that permeated every corner of the Chamber. It was, instead, a place of quiet, and peace. Nothing that his often dark warrior heart hungered for.

Still, he had found his home there and come to love it. Enough to ignore the occasional twinge from the skin that stretched too tight—the feeling in his bones that he would never truly belong there. He was not like the others who were carved from Heaven’s cloth. He had blood on his hands, lust in his heart, a million things that he was not proud to claim as his own. But he still tried—would always try.

Turning back toward her, his expression grew more serious. “No Chamber or Valley then.” He was partial to the Chamber—partially for his father, partially for the years he served as its Lord—but there was no love lost between him and the Valley. He still burned with anger sometimes when he thought of all the kingdom had committed over the years; it took everything within him not to hold it against its inhabitants.

“Well, if you are looking for adventure, then there are few places better than the Jungle.” His eyes sparked as he spoke of the kingdom, the place of his birth. “It’s likely the most beautiful kingdom there is, and the women there are strong, intelligent—warriors and diplomats alike.” Sometimes, he longed to go back there, longed to find himself back among the vines. Similar to how he longed for all the places that he had called home throughout his life (the Jungle, the Chamber, the Dale, the Gates), but deeper—richer.

Finally, he shook his head, laughing again. “I may be biased toward the kingdom though.”

magnus