07-20-2016, 03:33 AM
“I want you, Nevi.”
My eyes fly open, searching out hers in the dark. I can barely breathe, and heat rushes through me, my heart racing in my chest. She wants me? She wants me? That can’t be right. God, Nevi, listen to what she’s saying, you probably misinterpreted. Just wishful thinking. Just imagining it so hard you think you’re hearing it.
But no.
I know exactly what she means, that feeling like her blood is on fire, like every single touch just stokes the flame. Every should-be-innocent brush of lips against skin, of cheek against hair, every time our skin touches all I see is her. All I can think about is her. All I want is to touch her more, to know the taste of her skin, to hold her, to--fucking listen.
She wants to leave. God, she wants to leave, wants to be away from all the people who love us, who have been...they’ve been everything to me. They’ve been everything, because Lee pushed and coaxed and used those gorgeous brown eyes of hers and begged me to let her in. To let her past all the pretend happy and let her see how much hurt I was hiding. And that..that helped me out a lot with all the fucked up feelings from being abandoned. For just a day.
Lee was alone so much longer.
I don’t think she wants to talk about Mom and Dad right now, or about being abandoned. Idiot. Just fucking kiss her.
“I want you too, Lee. So much I can’t think straight just looking at you. You touch me, and all I can think about is touching you back. A quick kiss, burying my face in your hair, all the while wondering if I’m going a little too far, lingering a little too long, and it’s never enough. I want more.” Not fair of me, I know. I’m supposed to be her brother. And even if I can’t do that right, then I should at least love her right. Like Mom and Dad, the way they look at each other like there’s no one else in the whole world for either of them.
I can’t do that. Another thing I can’t do right, when any time I see Argo...
With a sigh, I rest my forehead against hers, taking a moment to just breathe in her scent. My Lee. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just kiss her, just touch her, she said she wants you. You want her. You love her, It’s not that complicated. Or it doesn’t have to be. And it’s not like she doesn’t know. She’s seen the way I look at him, the quiet ache of yearning when he touches me, the way I wish...the way I wish those words would come from him too.
“I love you too, Lee. I...I want...I want out little herd of lost boys and girls too. And I want to be with you. I..” I trail off, groaning and pressing my lips to the corner of her mouth.
But there is a difference, isn’t there? There’s a difference between seeing the way I melt into him at the slightest touch and knowing for sure. Just like there’s a difference between hoping someone wants you and hearing the words coming from their lips. I drag my lips up toward her cheek, breaking away, my heart pounding in my chest. “I want you too, Lee. But.” I can’t meet her eyes, not...not now. My gaze drops to the ground, and I bite my lip, trying to hold it in, trying to find a softer way to say it, a better way to say it than, “but Argo.”
Don’t be a coward. Look her in the eye.
God, that’s easier said than done. She’ll hate me, I’ll break her heart before we even start, and telling her will destroy any chance I ever had with her. But what kind of man would I be if I didn’t say the words? So I tear my gaze from the ground and force myself to meet those gorgeous brown eyes of hers when I say, “I...you need to know that I love him too.”
My eyes fly open, searching out hers in the dark. I can barely breathe, and heat rushes through me, my heart racing in my chest. She wants me? She wants me? That can’t be right. God, Nevi, listen to what she’s saying, you probably misinterpreted. Just wishful thinking. Just imagining it so hard you think you’re hearing it.
But no.
I know exactly what she means, that feeling like her blood is on fire, like every single touch just stokes the flame. Every should-be-innocent brush of lips against skin, of cheek against hair, every time our skin touches all I see is her. All I can think about is her. All I want is to touch her more, to know the taste of her skin, to hold her, to--fucking listen.
She wants to leave. God, she wants to leave, wants to be away from all the people who love us, who have been...they’ve been everything to me. They’ve been everything, because Lee pushed and coaxed and used those gorgeous brown eyes of hers and begged me to let her in. To let her past all the pretend happy and let her see how much hurt I was hiding. And that..that helped me out a lot with all the fucked up feelings from being abandoned. For just a day.
Lee was alone so much longer.
I don’t think she wants to talk about Mom and Dad right now, or about being abandoned. Idiot. Just fucking kiss her.
“I want you too, Lee. So much I can’t think straight just looking at you. You touch me, and all I can think about is touching you back. A quick kiss, burying my face in your hair, all the while wondering if I’m going a little too far, lingering a little too long, and it’s never enough. I want more.” Not fair of me, I know. I’m supposed to be her brother. And even if I can’t do that right, then I should at least love her right. Like Mom and Dad, the way they look at each other like there’s no one else in the whole world for either of them.
I can’t do that. Another thing I can’t do right, when any time I see Argo...
With a sigh, I rest my forehead against hers, taking a moment to just breathe in her scent. My Lee. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just kiss her, just touch her, she said she wants you. You want her. You love her, It’s not that complicated. Or it doesn’t have to be. And it’s not like she doesn’t know. She’s seen the way I look at him, the quiet ache of yearning when he touches me, the way I wish...the way I wish those words would come from him too.
“I love you too, Lee. I...I want...I want out little herd of lost boys and girls too. And I want to be with you. I..” I trail off, groaning and pressing my lips to the corner of her mouth.
But there is a difference, isn’t there? There’s a difference between seeing the way I melt into him at the slightest touch and knowing for sure. Just like there’s a difference between hoping someone wants you and hearing the words coming from their lips. I drag my lips up toward her cheek, breaking away, my heart pounding in my chest. “I want you too, Lee. But.” I can’t meet her eyes, not...not now. My gaze drops to the ground, and I bite my lip, trying to hold it in, trying to find a softer way to say it, a better way to say it than, “but Argo.”
Don’t be a coward. Look her in the eye.
God, that’s easier said than done. She’ll hate me, I’ll break her heart before we even start, and telling her will destroy any chance I ever had with her. But what kind of man would I be if I didn’t say the words? So I tear my gaze from the ground and force myself to meet those gorgeous brown eyes of hers when I say, “I...you need to know that I love him too.”