07-11-2016, 08:35 PM
Even in the night I know it's him. Even when the darkness is so thick and so heavy that I cannot even see my nose in front of my face, or the rock that I had been looking at just before the last lights of the sun had faded away, I knew it was him. The way his hooves scrap on the stone, the way his breaths catch in his lungs, the way the very faint outline of his shape moves. And really, I would have known it was him had I been blind. He was the only one that ever came to find me.
My smile is small, but I am thankful for the thick blanket of night, for the moon that was absent and the stars that just twinkle but offer no light. I don't have to pretend as hard, I don't have to keep that mask on that I have so carefully placed since...forever.
I had both yearned for a home and denied it.
Reasons like this were why. I shouldn't have to construct a careful mask to keep my loved ones happy. And Nevi would be so hurt with me if I didn't or if he found out.
So for now I am careful, even though he cannot see me. I hide my negative thoughts, burying them down deepdeep, so they won't intrude on our moments. And he's been so damn happy since we can all stay here. I release the sigh I had been holding as a deep breath instead and smile more fully at him. "Hey Nevi." And it's full of the greeting and the love we share. He settles against me and I raise my head up, giving him my attention even if he cannot see it. He would always hold my attention and my good intentions. He would always hold my heart and probably never realize it.
I do manage a smile at his words, although he cannot see it. "It was dark and my walk took me farther than I thought so I figured it was safer to shelter here." I touch my lips to his neck, as it's larger than his cheek and I know I won't miss. I don't linger like I want to, instead just enjoying his warmth as the nights get cooler. "I've missed you too Nevi." Like the breath I can't quite catch since Dad's announcement. But I'm just so damn glad the light is on in Nevi's eyes that I don't miss the breath as much as I ought to.
My smile is small, but I am thankful for the thick blanket of night, for the moon that was absent and the stars that just twinkle but offer no light. I don't have to pretend as hard, I don't have to keep that mask on that I have so carefully placed since...forever.
I had both yearned for a home and denied it.
Reasons like this were why. I shouldn't have to construct a careful mask to keep my loved ones happy. And Nevi would be so hurt with me if I didn't or if he found out.
So for now I am careful, even though he cannot see me. I hide my negative thoughts, burying them down deepdeep, so they won't intrude on our moments. And he's been so damn happy since we can all stay here. I release the sigh I had been holding as a deep breath instead and smile more fully at him. "Hey Nevi." And it's full of the greeting and the love we share. He settles against me and I raise my head up, giving him my attention even if he cannot see it. He would always hold my attention and my good intentions. He would always hold my heart and probably never realize it.
I do manage a smile at his words, although he cannot see it. "It was dark and my walk took me farther than I thought so I figured it was safer to shelter here." I touch my lips to his neck, as it's larger than his cheek and I know I won't miss. I don't linger like I want to, instead just enjoying his warmth as the nights get cooler. "I've missed you too Nevi." Like the breath I can't quite catch since Dad's announcement. But I'm just so damn glad the light is on in Nevi's eyes that I don't miss the breath as much as I ought to.