07-11-2016, 11:33 AM
Morning dawned and I was anxious and worried and incredibly happy. Our babies would be here tonight. Nothing was going to go wrong, Pazuzu and Quark would make sure of it, but nonetheless I felt like something might. I hadn't been this much of a hot mess when Dara was born, but then she had been a little bit more of a surprise, a perfectly wonderful one, but a surprise nonetheless. I didn't have days and weeks to worry over the details of having not one but three little baby girls to take care of. Thank the gods that Quark and Ryss were willing to help us out with feeding them.
I curl closer to Drow, wrapping myself around him more and taking in the morning cuddles. I attempt to push the worry, the fear, the doubt away, grounding myself in his touches and his soft words against my skin.
I sigh, willing to stay like this all day, but I know we have things to do.
So eventually we get up and somehow I manage to get through the day. The dark comes and we gather with the moon shining full and ready to burst above us. Pazuzu wavers only a few times in his magic, I can see the black in the bond. I know what Quark says to him even though I cannot hear the words, do not even see her mouth move. I know what would anchor me to the now, anchor me to this life and to love. My eyes touching upon Drow first. I love to see the light in his eyes, even as it darkens now and again with worry. I understand his concerns, understand the worry and the fear that could swallow us both whole if we let it.
He is the other half to my soul. He is the reason that I am still here.
A smile curls my lips as I watch him. Then I turn my gaze to our beautiful daughter. Beautiful, perfect Dara. The light of my life. I had never expected her to be the same as I remembered. I knew she would grow and the missing of it still ate away at me inside. I knew she would always love me and forgive me even if her Daddy hadn't been able to. God I love her, so damn much.
She is the other reason I still draw breath.
And now, now we were adding three more to that. Three more reasons I would always live.
Halora. Furia. Lunasol.
Pazuzu's magic twisting and curling, forming together to create their bodies that their souls would reside in. Quark's coaxing and guiding to make those souls land in the right bodies. I didn't expect her to run into much trouble. They were so ready to be born. I often dreamed of them.
Then they were here, they were alive and ready for us. So first I walk, allowing the pain and the blood to be spilt for them like it had been for Dara. There had been less ritual then but this was right. This was needed. I wait until Drow is done. I wait until the girls are finished, until Pazuzu drops his magic, swaying against the release. The only reason I don't go to his side is that his family is already on their way. I am concerned for him, for the stallion that made our dreams possible. I will thank him later.
Right now I inhale their scents, pressing my side against Drow's. My lips find all their fuzzy little heads and I smile and then I am pressing my face into Drow's neck. "Three of them Drowling. Three more perfect little beauties." I say, although it might be softened by his flesh, by my lips on his skin. I exhale a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "I love you." I say to him. and then to the girls. "I love you too." My lips touching all of them and lingering on Dara's cheek.
Oh god, the trouble they were going to get into.
I curl closer to Drow, wrapping myself around him more and taking in the morning cuddles. I attempt to push the worry, the fear, the doubt away, grounding myself in his touches and his soft words against my skin.
I sigh, willing to stay like this all day, but I know we have things to do.
So eventually we get up and somehow I manage to get through the day. The dark comes and we gather with the moon shining full and ready to burst above us. Pazuzu wavers only a few times in his magic, I can see the black in the bond. I know what Quark says to him even though I cannot hear the words, do not even see her mouth move. I know what would anchor me to the now, anchor me to this life and to love. My eyes touching upon Drow first. I love to see the light in his eyes, even as it darkens now and again with worry. I understand his concerns, understand the worry and the fear that could swallow us both whole if we let it.
He is the other half to my soul. He is the reason that I am still here.
A smile curls my lips as I watch him. Then I turn my gaze to our beautiful daughter. Beautiful, perfect Dara. The light of my life. I had never expected her to be the same as I remembered. I knew she would grow and the missing of it still ate away at me inside. I knew she would always love me and forgive me even if her Daddy hadn't been able to. God I love her, so damn much.
She is the other reason I still draw breath.
And now, now we were adding three more to that. Three more reasons I would always live.
Halora. Furia. Lunasol.
Pazuzu's magic twisting and curling, forming together to create their bodies that their souls would reside in. Quark's coaxing and guiding to make those souls land in the right bodies. I didn't expect her to run into much trouble. They were so ready to be born. I often dreamed of them.
Then they were here, they were alive and ready for us. So first I walk, allowing the pain and the blood to be spilt for them like it had been for Dara. There had been less ritual then but this was right. This was needed. I wait until Drow is done. I wait until the girls are finished, until Pazuzu drops his magic, swaying against the release. The only reason I don't go to his side is that his family is already on their way. I am concerned for him, for the stallion that made our dreams possible. I will thank him later.
Right now I inhale their scents, pressing my side against Drow's. My lips find all their fuzzy little heads and I smile and then I am pressing my face into Drow's neck. "Three of them Drowling. Three more perfect little beauties." I say, although it might be softened by his flesh, by my lips on his skin. I exhale a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "I love you." I say to him. and then to the girls. "I love you too." My lips touching all of them and lingering on Dara's cheek.
Oh god, the trouble they were going to get into.