07-01-2016, 08:15 PM
I know he is only teasing and I have to stop the smile that curls my lips. I press my nose into his neck, trailing it down until I find his shoulder, nipping the curve of it gently. When I trail my lips back up until I touch his cheek my smile is gone and I nod in agreement. "That might be a better idea." I turn my attention towards Dara and nod slightly again. "Yes, I think I like that better. I'm sure there is some grizzled old warrior around here somewhere we could pair you up with."
But of course she knows we are joking. We would never do that to her. Finding her own mate, finding the one that put a light in her heart and soothed her soul, finding someone that made a fire burn low in her belly...well that would be all for her to do. Even if Drow and I didn't like it, even if we hated the idea that she grew up so fast, that she was no longer our baby girl that needed us for everything.
I never had this before with Bathilda. I never had the ability to watch her grow and learn and become such a vital piece of my heart. Her mother had birthed her and then they had both disappeared. I don't even remember what she looked like anymore. She had been all long legs and wide eyes as she had trailed her mother and I had trailed her. I still wore my Jungle tattoos, even if they were faded into my skin, almost nonexistent. My manservant one still ran like jungle vines up my leg. Nazaire's was there, although it was nothing more than a few scratches in my skin. Quark's was there, perhaps the most vivid of them all.
Bathilda. My darling Bathilda. I am sorry I wasn't there for you more.
I am pulled from my thoughts, thoughts that echo times when Abaddon had even used her against me. My ghost child. I hide the torment in my eyes by closing my eyes for a long moment, my ears flickering as I listen to Dara and Drow. Dara's chatter eventually takes over and that makes me smile. Even as Drow's lips touch my neck. I blink my eyes open, shaking away the darkness. I didn't want to ruin this moment with our daughter, with her adventures still ringing in my ears as she tells me all about her day with her Grandma.
And aren't I so thankful that they were all together when I couldn't be there? Yes, I am so glad they had helped each other to heal, that my being away had done more than my being there. Do I hate the fact that I missed so much? Yes. Do I know that Dara girl gives me the show she thinks I expect when we are together? Oh, yes. It makes my heart almost burst as she gives me the things she thinks I need. And hell, maybe I do. Maybe I need these innocent little playacts she gives me to fill in the holes I still have in my heart.
I never regret the fact that I am here with them, but a part of me wonders, whispers dark things into my mind sometimes that I should have stayed away. That they were doing just fine without me. No doubt a piece of Abaddon still lingers somewhere in my soul, eating away at it like a worm in an apple. I let them soothe me, I let Quark heal the ragged pieces that she can. I let Drow's love act like a balm. I let Dara's hugs heal what they can.
But perhaps I will never really be over this.
Perhaps it was just a matter of time before something else came along and fucked this all up. Drow was right in his unwillingness to not want to come back. There was always something, always someone that would see our happy family and want to destroy it. A tingle of dread curls along my spine and I force myself to push it away. I would examine it later. Not now, not here in front of those I love.
So I smile, pushing away the darkness one more time and blink my jungle green eyes at my lover. My lips touch his cheek. "And I you." I murmur to him. I would never not love him, never find anyone else that was the other half of my heart, my soul like he was. I am glad, selfishly glad, that he has the same immortality as I do. "So much." I say, until Dara's chatter stops. I smile sheepishly at him, turning my attention back to her. "That sounds like an awesome day." I touch her forehead with a smile.
I know I would never ever change any of what happened if this was the end result of everything so far that had.
"We picked flowers." I say with an innocent smile. "And sunbathed."
But of course she knows we are joking. We would never do that to her. Finding her own mate, finding the one that put a light in her heart and soothed her soul, finding someone that made a fire burn low in her belly...well that would be all for her to do. Even if Drow and I didn't like it, even if we hated the idea that she grew up so fast, that she was no longer our baby girl that needed us for everything.
I never had this before with Bathilda. I never had the ability to watch her grow and learn and become such a vital piece of my heart. Her mother had birthed her and then they had both disappeared. I don't even remember what she looked like anymore. She had been all long legs and wide eyes as she had trailed her mother and I had trailed her. I still wore my Jungle tattoos, even if they were faded into my skin, almost nonexistent. My manservant one still ran like jungle vines up my leg. Nazaire's was there, although it was nothing more than a few scratches in my skin. Quark's was there, perhaps the most vivid of them all.
Bathilda. My darling Bathilda. I am sorry I wasn't there for you more.
I am pulled from my thoughts, thoughts that echo times when Abaddon had even used her against me. My ghost child. I hide the torment in my eyes by closing my eyes for a long moment, my ears flickering as I listen to Dara and Drow. Dara's chatter eventually takes over and that makes me smile. Even as Drow's lips touch my neck. I blink my eyes open, shaking away the darkness. I didn't want to ruin this moment with our daughter, with her adventures still ringing in my ears as she tells me all about her day with her Grandma.
And aren't I so thankful that they were all together when I couldn't be there? Yes, I am so glad they had helped each other to heal, that my being away had done more than my being there. Do I hate the fact that I missed so much? Yes. Do I know that Dara girl gives me the show she thinks I expect when we are together? Oh, yes. It makes my heart almost burst as she gives me the things she thinks I need. And hell, maybe I do. Maybe I need these innocent little playacts she gives me to fill in the holes I still have in my heart.
I never regret the fact that I am here with them, but a part of me wonders, whispers dark things into my mind sometimes that I should have stayed away. That they were doing just fine without me. No doubt a piece of Abaddon still lingers somewhere in my soul, eating away at it like a worm in an apple. I let them soothe me, I let Quark heal the ragged pieces that she can. I let Drow's love act like a balm. I let Dara's hugs heal what they can.
But perhaps I will never really be over this.
Perhaps it was just a matter of time before something else came along and fucked this all up. Drow was right in his unwillingness to not want to come back. There was always something, always someone that would see our happy family and want to destroy it. A tingle of dread curls along my spine and I force myself to push it away. I would examine it later. Not now, not here in front of those I love.
So I smile, pushing away the darkness one more time and blink my jungle green eyes at my lover. My lips touch his cheek. "And I you." I murmur to him. I would never not love him, never find anyone else that was the other half of my heart, my soul like he was. I am glad, selfishly glad, that he has the same immortality as I do. "So much." I say, until Dara's chatter stops. I smile sheepishly at him, turning my attention back to her. "That sounds like an awesome day." I touch her forehead with a smile.
I know I would never ever change any of what happened if this was the end result of everything so far that had.
"We picked flowers." I say with an innocent smile. "And sunbathed."