04-30-2016, 09:47 AM
Winner: Talulah
<b>Talulah</b> TOTAL: 4
<i>Round 1:</i> 0
o not the best setup; appreciate the weather forecast, but what of the dusty ground impacting the battle, and what of the opponent’s breed/build (because color doesn’t much matter in a fight unless of course it’s gray because it’s metal, etc.)
- she seems really close to him for this particular attack, and I almost think she’d need to be slightly off to the side, not head on
+ not bad description of the hit options – maybe a little more detail would be good, but appreciate that you take into account possible movement on Lupei’s part
<i>Round 2:</i> 4
+ I like how you compensate for the directional error in Lupei’s post, finding a reason to her to be off to his right instead of left
+ I appreciate that you took damage from the firewall, though would she blister given that she’s metal? I assume she’d overheat or warp more than blister (semantic here, really)
+ Good dodge and damage from his attack
+ Clever second attack, though I might note in the post it wouldn’t be as powerful given the damage to her forearm, but as a whole good description of the possibilities and clear direction in what’s happening
This is not really a point based note, just an aside, but battle posts are pretty long, and while I totally enjoy character development, would suggest keeping it to a minimum in a battle post.
<b>Lupei</b> TOTAL: 2
<i>Round 1:</i> 0
+ good damage w/ clear directions, easy to understand, but she heads around his left, not right – be careful with making sure you read the other post correctly
+ Good counter attack – like that you mention his fire is particularly hot so it should affect metal, but I might have elaborated just a hair on what white-fire is
- you cannot “deflect any possible counter” – be careful with phrases that are power playing. While I think I know what you might mean, it needs to be spelled out
- think about your attack here – if Lupei is head on and he pivots all the way around when he’s right on top of her in order to get his butt in her face, she has a ton of time to react. While yes, a horse can move pretty quickly, this is a huge space to cover still when there would have been smarter approaches to get into a position that would allow a buck, because at this point she could be invisible and moving around and Lupei may not even hear her over the fire and his own movements. Also consider where he might kick if she moves, because she hasn’t stood still. I don’t need all the options, but a couple. Or is he likely to just straight up miss if she’s moved?
<i>Round 2:</i> 2
+ Good damage to her attack
+ Love that the counter attack is essentially a trick to confuse and distract her – really clever given her metal skin
o Good final attack, but I’d still like to see some alternatives if she’s moved, because she’s probably moved
<b>Talulah</b> TOTAL: 4
<i>Round 1:</i> 0
o not the best setup; appreciate the weather forecast, but what of the dusty ground impacting the battle, and what of the opponent’s breed/build (because color doesn’t much matter in a fight unless of course it’s gray because it’s metal, etc.)
- she seems really close to him for this particular attack, and I almost think she’d need to be slightly off to the side, not head on
+ not bad description of the hit options – maybe a little more detail would be good, but appreciate that you take into account possible movement on Lupei’s part
<i>Round 2:</i> 4
+ I like how you compensate for the directional error in Lupei’s post, finding a reason to her to be off to his right instead of left
+ I appreciate that you took damage from the firewall, though would she blister given that she’s metal? I assume she’d overheat or warp more than blister (semantic here, really)
+ Good dodge and damage from his attack
+ Clever second attack, though I might note in the post it wouldn’t be as powerful given the damage to her forearm, but as a whole good description of the possibilities and clear direction in what’s happening
This is not really a point based note, just an aside, but battle posts are pretty long, and while I totally enjoy character development, would suggest keeping it to a minimum in a battle post.
<b>Lupei</b> TOTAL: 2
<i>Round 1:</i> 0
+ good damage w/ clear directions, easy to understand, but she heads around his left, not right – be careful with making sure you read the other post correctly
+ Good counter attack – like that you mention his fire is particularly hot so it should affect metal, but I might have elaborated just a hair on what white-fire is
- you cannot “deflect any possible counter” – be careful with phrases that are power playing. While I think I know what you might mean, it needs to be spelled out
- think about your attack here – if Lupei is head on and he pivots all the way around when he’s right on top of her in order to get his butt in her face, she has a ton of time to react. While yes, a horse can move pretty quickly, this is a huge space to cover still when there would have been smarter approaches to get into a position that would allow a buck, because at this point she could be invisible and moving around and Lupei may not even hear her over the fire and his own movements. Also consider where he might kick if she moves, because she hasn’t stood still. I don’t need all the options, but a couple. Or is he likely to just straight up miss if she’s moved?
<i>Round 2:</i> 2
+ Good damage to her attack
+ Love that the counter attack is essentially a trick to confuse and distract her – really clever given her metal skin
o Good final attack, but I’d still like to see some alternatives if she’s moved, because she’s probably moved