03-24-2016, 12:42 PM
He is used to disappointment.
His life has been a series of one disappointment after another, after all. From his father’s glaring absence throughout the majority of his years to his inability to make the Dale a powerful kingdom (and all the points in-between, including his failure to return Gail to the land of the living and his knack for losing those he loves to time and space). Promises mean little and less to Ramiel as the years tick by. He’s seen the fallout – lived it, breathed its noxious fumes – from words that move like wind passed the lips of the liars. He’s seen the devastation on his mother’s face when Tiphon’s golden light failed to grace them once again. He’s watched as the others retreated into the dark (Wrynn, Tiberios, Ea) never to reveal themselves again, despite their promises otherwise. He knows disappointment, intimately.
He thrives in this state of consistent inconsistency.
So when Ea does emerge from the shadows (from that Neverland he loathes but knows all too well) he doesn’t know how to react at first. Surely it will be temporary (her staying, the quickening of his heart when she looks at him with her kaleidoscope eyes). She’ll be off soon enough, sinking into the blackness of the gone-space he despises. But that same, deep well of optimism he’s always pulled from bubbles up and makes itself known in his gut. Maybe she’ll be gone, he thinks, watching her face for the familiar signs of retreat. But maybe she’ll stay.
Ea’s smile further cements the idea. It’s only a brief flashing across her face, but it lights a match to Ramiel’s enthusiasm. He has a sudden hunger to see more, to crack the stony façade she wears too comfortably and reveal the layers underneath. Perhaps it had been his fault before; maybe he hadn’t tried enough, pried enough at the indifference encasing her. This time, he won’t make the same mistake. She will know she’s wanted.
“No,” he says simply. He will make sure she stays, but he will not lie to her – and he will not make it easy on her, either. Ramiel’s grin widens as he takes a step towards the bay roan. “How can I believe a woman with restless wings for feet and a nose that grows every time she leaves? Can you imagine a more unbelievable character?” He shakes his head lightly, wondering if he’s taken his jest too far. Despite what Ea might think, he understands her restlessness. If he hadn’t been bequeathed a throne in his childhood, Ramiel might have been on the road alongside her all those years. His thirst for knowledge and desire for adventure is inherent, but the crown had mutated it into a great love for home and country. A love which hadn’t had any competitors. Until now that is.
Now, he wonders if his successive disappointments had chiseled a hole pre-destined to be filled by another. Maybe all of his failures were to be negated by the successes and surprises of someone who’d always been there, lingering just out of reach. Maybe Ea had come home at exactly the right time.
“Well…,” Ram repeats, his grin falling with his gaze. The earth holds no answers though, and he is quick to lift his eyes to her once more. There is so much to be said between them (so much to give and to learn from each other) that he’s not certain where to start. And all the while, the bugles of war sound in his head, distracting the ghost-king from what he really wants to discuss. “Ea, I’ve missed you. I – “ He trails off, looking towards the mountains behind her, trying not to think about the Chamber much further behind the peaks. “I don’t want you to leave, not ever again. Our parents made an arrangement when we were children, but I don’t want to honor it because of them.” A hesitant smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Rejection, a cousin of his friend Disappointment roars in his mind, but he ignores it. Tries to. “I want to because of you, because of us.” The grey has never felt more vulnerable, like the ground could swallow him up at any moment. He swallows his doubts and looks back at Ea. “When I come back from the war, will you be here?” Will you be here always? Will you be mine?
His life has been a series of one disappointment after another, after all. From his father’s glaring absence throughout the majority of his years to his inability to make the Dale a powerful kingdom (and all the points in-between, including his failure to return Gail to the land of the living and his knack for losing those he loves to time and space). Promises mean little and less to Ramiel as the years tick by. He’s seen the fallout – lived it, breathed its noxious fumes – from words that move like wind passed the lips of the liars. He’s seen the devastation on his mother’s face when Tiphon’s golden light failed to grace them once again. He’s watched as the others retreated into the dark (Wrynn, Tiberios, Ea) never to reveal themselves again, despite their promises otherwise. He knows disappointment, intimately.
He thrives in this state of consistent inconsistency.
So when Ea does emerge from the shadows (from that Neverland he loathes but knows all too well) he doesn’t know how to react at first. Surely it will be temporary (her staying, the quickening of his heart when she looks at him with her kaleidoscope eyes). She’ll be off soon enough, sinking into the blackness of the gone-space he despises. But that same, deep well of optimism he’s always pulled from bubbles up and makes itself known in his gut. Maybe she’ll be gone, he thinks, watching her face for the familiar signs of retreat. But maybe she’ll stay.
Ea’s smile further cements the idea. It’s only a brief flashing across her face, but it lights a match to Ramiel’s enthusiasm. He has a sudden hunger to see more, to crack the stony façade she wears too comfortably and reveal the layers underneath. Perhaps it had been his fault before; maybe he hadn’t tried enough, pried enough at the indifference encasing her. This time, he won’t make the same mistake. She will know she’s wanted.
“No,” he says simply. He will make sure she stays, but he will not lie to her – and he will not make it easy on her, either. Ramiel’s grin widens as he takes a step towards the bay roan. “How can I believe a woman with restless wings for feet and a nose that grows every time she leaves? Can you imagine a more unbelievable character?” He shakes his head lightly, wondering if he’s taken his jest too far. Despite what Ea might think, he understands her restlessness. If he hadn’t been bequeathed a throne in his childhood, Ramiel might have been on the road alongside her all those years. His thirst for knowledge and desire for adventure is inherent, but the crown had mutated it into a great love for home and country. A love which hadn’t had any competitors. Until now that is.
Now, he wonders if his successive disappointments had chiseled a hole pre-destined to be filled by another. Maybe all of his failures were to be negated by the successes and surprises of someone who’d always been there, lingering just out of reach. Maybe Ea had come home at exactly the right time.
“Well…,” Ram repeats, his grin falling with his gaze. The earth holds no answers though, and he is quick to lift his eyes to her once more. There is so much to be said between them (so much to give and to learn from each other) that he’s not certain where to start. And all the while, the bugles of war sound in his head, distracting the ghost-king from what he really wants to discuss. “Ea, I’ve missed you. I – “ He trails off, looking towards the mountains behind her, trying not to think about the Chamber much further behind the peaks. “I don’t want you to leave, not ever again. Our parents made an arrangement when we were children, but I don’t want to honor it because of them.” A hesitant smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Rejection, a cousin of his friend Disappointment roars in his mind, but he ignores it. Tries to. “I want to because of you, because of us.” The grey has never felt more vulnerable, like the ground could swallow him up at any moment. He swallows his doubts and looks back at Ea. “When I come back from the war, will you be here?” Will you be here always? Will you be mine?
R A M I E L
this is a man pulling at his iron chains