when the words lay heavy on my heart
i am lost, led only by the stars
If Allanna - or whatever was left of Allanna - hadn’t raised objection to her descendant’s despicable actions, Pompey probably would have gotten away with it. Morphine alone is not strong enough to punish him, as that had never been her intention when she sent a fraction of her consiousness into her daughter. Neither Kerowyn, nor her mother, have ever encountered anything like this, never been subject to such irrational violence, and never been a victim. Her family weren’t victims. Maybe it’s been pure luck since she left Beqanna, or maybe it’s just a sense of otherness about Kerowyn, but they’ve been flying solo ever since they left. No threat from roaming stallions, nothing the little bay mare couldn’t outrun. This? This is… a hammer’s blow to a pane of glass that is held together by duck tape. Serviceable for a number of years, but ultimately fallible. Ugly, and sometimes the wind whistles through, but it holds up. It works.
How can it work after this?
Kerowyn’s body goes numb while her mother simmers inside. Pompey’s snide words aren’t strong enough to draw her into the real world again, so she does as best she can to mend the trauma as it occurs. There is nothing that can completely soothe her daughter’s mind, or take away the physical violation and the twins that will blossom in her womb. She is a flicker of light in Kerowyn’s mind, until a breath of air from the very distant past comes barreling in.
Oh god. Could it be?
Allanna? her mother cries out, grasping at what must surely be a figment of her imagination.
But then the stallion freezes, and she knows her Miracle is nigh.
Morphine has a fraction of her strength and Kerowyn has no aptitude to channel it, but even an old, old, old magician can summon up new tricks. Hold on, darling, her mother says, choosing not to tell her that this may be goodbye. Like a moth to the flame, she reaches for that familiar presence, and summons all of her strength, pulling from blood and bone and the magic that infuses the very air around them. Kerowyn begins to glow, from the inside. Light emanates from her eyes and ears and sets her mane on end. A trail of it, no - more like a stream - pours out of her Kerowyn’s body as her mother drains herself from it.
I love you, darling. Be strong… she says in parting, knowing that in taking out this monster, she will forever remove herself from this world. There is no choice. It is the greatest sacrifice that a mother can make for her child, and she has always been willing to do it. She just needs a little help, and so she reaches out to Allanna, to the sister she’s always mourned.
Allanna?
The question remains unspoken. She could not voice the request to have her help kill her great-grandson; that is not Morphine’s way. She would rather say - help me save my daughter.
kerowyn
brennen x morphine
