03-19-2016, 07:36 PM
learn to read between the lines, yeah?
I can't help but not feel like it's right for me here. I am not bold and bull headed like Vaughan... or Kimber. I couldn't imagine killing another like that stallion did back at the tree. I don't how some weird quirk like most the other Chamberlings. I just don't feel right here, even alone in some corner in the borderlands of this kingdom, I don't belong here. I look around in the shady darkness, not sure wat to do next. I knew Iwas still in Chamber but I didn't want to be. I could go a little further, I could leave. I could actually do it. I might like some other group better. A less bold environment, a more tranquil home. That sounded lovely and I have every intention of taking that step, but a step, a cracking twig, ad presence of another has made me freeze. I mean I shouldn't be so surprised right? I did call out when I realized I was a little lost. But, in the moments of standing here alone, I had changed my mind. Being lost was ok, as I was about to leave so If I was in Chamber or not no longer mattered.
I see the spotted figure of the slightly odd tree loving mare through the tree line before she comes upon me, a look of sheer annoyance cutting into me. I hate when the grownups are upset with me, and I feel myself shrink at her harsh words. I feel the tears well and lungs give the telling shake before I start crying. I shake my head hard, I do not want to cry. I hate crying. I hate being so helpless. Why can't I be strong like Vaughan, or like mother? I force the air from my lungs and wait for the burn to ache from lack of oxygen, anything to not cry. When I feel like I won't cry I look up at the older mare, I don't feel stupid. I just feel like I don't want to be here anymore. "N-no. I just don't want to be here. It's scary, and the ash sticks in lungs. I'm not stupid, I...I just couldn't handle being there anymore."
I look at her, she was a different sort of horse, not like mother, and not like me. I still feel chastised but I don't think she meant bad by it. She just is who she is. I wonder how she ended up the way she was... during a war running around a burning tree yelling about Straia, my Queen.. or, at least, I think she is still queen, I think I would know if something had happened to her. "How do you do it? How do you stand it here? How did you know Chamber was where you should stay?" The questions that were burning in my heart just erupted from my mouth. I hadn't meant to, I didn't want to talk to anyone about them. How could anyone understand my heart? I think there is much I have to learn, but there it was it was out there and I can't take it back. So now I wait and listen for her reply and I don't think she's the type to sugar coat, so I can feel my heart start to race. I wonder what she will say, and secret I hope it is what I want to hear.
vessel
nymphetamine x kimber