ladies call me Subway cuz I've got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inches; any

[A Tree]

Carl Orff is cool and all, but for the scene that was playing out right here, Nessun Dorma was the real soundtrack (which, when you really look at the lyrics and context, don’t really lend itself to the love scenes it’s often used for… but I digress). So, let’s just envision the amorous embrace of pony and perennial to the climax of Puccini (climaxing done best starting at 2:50).

“And I you!” she cooed lovingly in response, because by some miracle, she can understand his nickers.

“I was beat, incomplete. But you make me feel shiny and new… like a virgin!” she exclaimed as she tenderly brushed his cheek with a single branch.

How many of you caught the implications of her last statement?

Me too. Just now. Buttah as well.

Realizing suddenly what she had just admitted, Miss Buttah quickly did what girls do best: turn it back onto him!

“Am I your one and only, dahling Satire? Tell me there is no other but me!” she cried, unable to fathom sharing her handsome supreme dictator with another, much less that sultry cypress sneaking peeks at him off by the water.