ladies call me Subway cuz I've got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inches; any

[A Tree]

“Ahhhhhh!” collectively cried the chamber trees as they combusted.

“Ahhhhhh!” shrilly shrieked the jungle trees as they smoldered.

“YEOOOUCH!!!!!!!” bitterly bellowed the gates tree as she blazed.

Together, the trees wept a melancholy symphony of pain and loss and desperation.

Together, they lamented their unremarkable roles as unmemorable casualties in a magical arms’ race.

Together, they cried for help from their meadow friend.

 

And oh how she would have helped! In an instant, she would have lashed and thrashed and beat all those silly ponies to a pitiful glittery pulp to save her innocent brethren and bring this silly war to a quick halt (in her mind, that’s how it would have played out)… except that she was making sweet goo-goo eyes at the gentleman before her.

 

He must have been planted there so she would be distracted. Good plan, @[demian]. Or was it @[Yael]? Must have been @[Straia]. Or that one dude who definitely has something illicit going on with a turtle (see, Satty, y’all ain’t the only ones branching out – pun positively intended. Inter-species relationships are totes the new fad). No matter, they were all equally weird looking and somehow all enjoyed feasting on her. Barbarians!

 

Good thing this gentleman was much nicer than them.

 

Satire for His Royal Highness Supreme Caesar Imperator Beqanna Dictator!

He had her vote. Although, dictators don’t tend to require votes, do they?

 

Anywho, His Royal Highness was in the process of inquiring of her past. She looked at him for a moment. Then suddenly, she wrapped her arms around him in tender embrace as her tears erupted. “Yes! I miss it SO! I come from a land of such storied history and great culture. Much more civilized than this savage place! Satty, come home with me! I am so certain that you will simply LOVE Nebraska!”

 

Already inviting the guy back.

Miss Buttah: less class than the UNC football team.