01-26-2016, 12:21 AM
She is in awe.
Her eyes brighten, watching as the fire monster smothers the burning mare quickly. The crack of her bones sounds like haunting lullabies – a familiar lullaby her father once hummed to her when she was but a small girl. And then there is a dead silent between it all. She feels like she can hear her own heart racing. It is pumping so fast that it almost feels like it’s about to explode from her chest.
But she isn’t afraid.
She knows she should be, but she isn’t.
Lucrezia is curious, struck by wonderlust in what stands before her right now. It captures her enduring fascination with the boundless beauty and unpredictability of all nature’s mysteries, leaving her to seek out the meaning of this. It is not death that captures her enthrallment. Lucrezia has seen what death can do to others, but it is the way he looks at her. The way the monster stands there after killing something, taking life away from this world. It is the raw image of him. The vulnerable parts as one soul keeps from another. It is the darkest secrets of the soul. It is the emotions, the yearnings, the dreams, and the thoughts hidden behind a mask so often worn during an entire lifetime.
It is everything beautiful and terrible at once.
It is heaven and hell.
But it is real.
And it is true.
She yearns for this vulnerability. The rawness of a child’s heart again. She wants to see the world again like she used to. She wants to feel the thrill of adventure, the adrenaline in her blood, and take in the beauty and newness of the world.
But she can’t.
Lucrezia has fallen far beyond the innocence of a naïve child. She has seen this world full of terrible things. The beauty she once knew has been torn away. She knows within herself it’s still there, somewhere in the darkness. And that’s why she stays. She doesn’t run when he tells her to. No, she needs this more than he might know.
She needs to find beauty in the terrible moments. Her heart craves to find a balance again between her soul and mind. There must be a way to restore what she has lost along the way. She has to find herself again, she begs herself every day to feel something again in her growing world of gray.
“Why should I run?” she whispers back to him. “I have nothing to lose.” And she didn’t. Every part of her was willing to die right here to find something beautiful in the world, to find something good in this terrible moment. It was a risk she was willing to take. But what was the cost of such a decision or mistake? Lucrezia doesn’t question it truly. She’s already made up her mind as she remains unmoved.
Her eyes brighten, watching as the fire monster smothers the burning mare quickly. The crack of her bones sounds like haunting lullabies – a familiar lullaby her father once hummed to her when she was but a small girl. And then there is a dead silent between it all. She feels like she can hear her own heart racing. It is pumping so fast that it almost feels like it’s about to explode from her chest.
But she isn’t afraid.
She knows she should be, but she isn’t.
Lucrezia is curious, struck by wonderlust in what stands before her right now. It captures her enduring fascination with the boundless beauty and unpredictability of all nature’s mysteries, leaving her to seek out the meaning of this. It is not death that captures her enthrallment. Lucrezia has seen what death can do to others, but it is the way he looks at her. The way the monster stands there after killing something, taking life away from this world. It is the raw image of him. The vulnerable parts as one soul keeps from another. It is the darkest secrets of the soul. It is the emotions, the yearnings, the dreams, and the thoughts hidden behind a mask so often worn during an entire lifetime.
It is everything beautiful and terrible at once.
It is heaven and hell.
But it is real.
And it is true.
She yearns for this vulnerability. The rawness of a child’s heart again. She wants to see the world again like she used to. She wants to feel the thrill of adventure, the adrenaline in her blood, and take in the beauty and newness of the world.
But she can’t.
Lucrezia has fallen far beyond the innocence of a naïve child. She has seen this world full of terrible things. The beauty she once knew has been torn away. She knows within herself it’s still there, somewhere in the darkness. And that’s why she stays. She doesn’t run when he tells her to. No, she needs this more than he might know.
She needs to find beauty in the terrible moments. Her heart craves to find a balance again between her soul and mind. There must be a way to restore what she has lost along the way. She has to find herself again, she begs herself every day to feel something again in her growing world of gray.
“Why should I run?” she whispers back to him. “I have nothing to lose.” And she didn’t. Every part of her was willing to die right here to find something beautiful in the world, to find something good in this terrible moment. It was a risk she was willing to take. But what was the cost of such a decision or mistake? Lucrezia doesn’t question it truly. She’s already made up her mind as she remains unmoved.
Lucrezia
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