12-18-2015, 11:44 AM
All things are possible, even the worst of things.
He had always been a dichotomy. A man who should have been one thing, but ended up being something very different. He should have been a warrior. He had been born to it, his body designed for it. But he hadn’t the heart for it. He had always been too soft and kind. Too good. He might have been built for war and death, but his spirit had been the very opposite.
And still those two halves of him battle, but the battle is far more real now. He can feel it splitting his soul in two, feel the rending of the two opposing parts of him. His body thrills in the touch of the shadows, in their gentle caresses and sweet temptation. His mind wars with the man he has become, the murder and the darkness that has found him. It still wants what it once was, the jovial innocence of the boy with the rose colored glasses.
He is at war with himself, never realizing that he cannot accept himself unless he makes peace.
In retrospect, he should have been afraid of her. She is a predator. He is prey. But he cannot bring himself to be. He knows now that there are far worse things in this world to fear than she. Even as she follows his retreat, gnashing her teeth in frustration, he cannot stir himself to fear.
‘They love you,’ she says, and he merely shakes his head. If they loved him, why would they do this to him? Everyone else that had loved him had only ever left. Why couldn’t they follow suit and do the same? But even as he thinks it, he suddenly doesn’t want them to go. A small, selfish part of him wants them to stay. Wants something in his life, even if it is only the shadows, to stay and love him. To never leave him, like all the others had.
And perhaps that is why he follows her. Why he abruptly stops fighting their pull. Or perhaps it is simply because he is too exhausted to argue any further.
Whatever the reason, when she presses against him in confused determination, he doesn’t withdraw. And when she opens the portal, he hesitates for only a moment before following her into the unknown.
And still those two halves of him battle, but the battle is far more real now. He can feel it splitting his soul in two, feel the rending of the two opposing parts of him. His body thrills in the touch of the shadows, in their gentle caresses and sweet temptation. His mind wars with the man he has become, the murder and the darkness that has found him. It still wants what it once was, the jovial innocence of the boy with the rose colored glasses.
He is at war with himself, never realizing that he cannot accept himself unless he makes peace.
In retrospect, he should have been afraid of her. She is a predator. He is prey. But he cannot bring himself to be. He knows now that there are far worse things in this world to fear than she. Even as she follows his retreat, gnashing her teeth in frustration, he cannot stir himself to fear.
‘They love you,’ she says, and he merely shakes his head. If they loved him, why would they do this to him? Everyone else that had loved him had only ever left. Why couldn’t they follow suit and do the same? But even as he thinks it, he suddenly doesn’t want them to go. A small, selfish part of him wants them to stay. Wants something in his life, even if it is only the shadows, to stay and love him. To never leave him, like all the others had.
And perhaps that is why he follows her. Why he abruptly stops fighting their pull. Or perhaps it is simply because he is too exhausted to argue any further.
Whatever the reason, when she presses against him in confused determination, he doesn’t withdraw. And when she opens the portal, he hesitates for only a moment before following her into the unknown.
shahrizai
hestoni x scorch